Til The Casket Drops REDRUM
by Foxissofoxy
Summary: Rick Grimes killed his wife. Michonne murdered her husband. POV driven. Other Characters throughout. AU-possible OOC. (Work in progress)
1. Chapter 1

Til the Casket Drops Red Rum

I murdered my husband. I stabbed him 34 times. I would have stabbed him more if the police had not arrived and told me to put down the knife. I would have. My mind was set that I would have to spend the rest of my life in Prison. I was prepared to embrace the orange is the new black but it didn't work out that way for me. I was found not guilty.

"What the fuck?"

I knew my Granny had to have had her hand in that shit. I knew it.

"You don't belong in Prison and you will not go on my watch. As long as I am breathing...you will not go. Now get your ass up and let's go. Dr. Deanna Monroe is going to help you out with this mental shit you going through. Can't keep shit like what you've been through bottled up inside. Come on and get up...get your ass up."

Granny wouldn't let me just die. I tried to kill myself 3 times. I tried to eat myself to death. Drink myself to death and cry myself to death. Nothing worked.

Working in the morgue the dead made death looks so easy. Close your eyes and poof. Sleep and never wake up...I waited for death but it never came. Mike looked so peaceful. Looking at his face I wanted to stab him some more.

I began working at Hershel's Mortuary a few months after I murdered Mike. Mike was my husband who use to beat the shit out me because he could beat the shit out of me.

After everything that happened, I couldn't go back to my small law practice, so I farmed out all my clients to friends who I knew would do a good job. I closed up shop and headed to King's County. I have been here almost two years tomorrow.

I am thankful for Deanna who is sitting before us and all of you for helping me get to this point in my story.

I really hated the part of introducing myself everytime we had a new member. Now it makes sense. Each time we add a new member to the group it makes the introduction different each time. It helps to get what ever we have bottled up or hidden in the dark out in to the light. Talking about it helps to get it out of one's system by wash rinse and repeat. Sometimes a reintroduction helps to remember things that you didn't think to point out and it also gets everyone else who know you caught up with whom you were and who've you become. Hi. My name is Michonne Benton and I killed my husband.

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Well, I for one have fell really far down the path of no return. It took standing in the bottom of a 6 foot grave to realize that has to be the true bottom. Til the casket drops...you haven't hit bottom.

It was two years ago tomorrow that I killed my wife Lori and my best friend Shane Walsh. I found them in bed together. He was going at her pretty good doggy style. Didn't take much to take the gun out of my holster and blow his brains out and the bullet travelled and killed her too. A two for one I suppose.

I blacked out. I woke up and there they were in my bed dead. I was prepared for whatever was going to happen. I was grateful to have the kind wonderful citizens of King's County testifying on my behalf...I didn't want to go to prison. The whole idea of going didn't sit right with me and I was thankful to be found not guilty.

I still handed in my badge and gun. I couldn't go back to the force. I couldn't go back home either. It wasn't home any more. I stayed with my mother Ella down on the farm. My father passed away some years ago. She was glad to have me home with her to keep her company.

I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I had thoughts that just wouldn't stop. I was in a bad way because of it. I began to see Lori outside my room or in the closet. I would stand in the mirror and I would see Shane, he was my best friend from high School and we were on the police force together. I would look in the mirror and he would be standing there with a hole in his head.

Rum. I was drinking a lot of it. I drank so much I would piss myself. I was a functioning alcoholic. I had to drink to wake up. I had to drink to function. I had to drink to sleep. I don't believe in that shit that I am still alcoholic always alcoholic. I haven't touched alcohol in almost a year and it wasn't that hard to stop.

The job at Herschel's Mortuary helped a great deal. Never in my wildest dream did I ever think I would be a grave digger. I work with Eugene and Tyrese. I have arrested those two before and here I am digging graves with the likes of those two. They are my very good friends now.

I have friends here too. I want to thank Dr. Deanna for making it easy to eventually be able to speak the truth out loud with out judgment because we all have similar stories of where in an instant your life is changed forever. Reintroducing myself like what Michonne said over there. It helps to remember things that you may not have remembered at the first introduction but it gets everyone up to speed of who you are and how you have changed based on the ever evolving narrative of your story. My story...Hi. My name is Rick Grimes...I murdered my wife.

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"What do you think?"

"About what?" Rick was walking side by side with Michonne as they left the meeting they attended once a week. It was after 8pm.

"The two new members...Abe and Morgan."

"I have no opinion. Should I?"

"I suppose not. I am intrigued by their story though."

"Nothing is intriguing about leaving a baby in a hot ass car and Morgan drunk driving and plowing a school bus killing 3 kids. Sorry."

"I can't wrap my mind around that shit is what I am saying and stop giving me the side eye." They walked through the parking lot to their parked vehicle they came together in.

"Here..you drive...I still see Lori and Shane." Rick tosses the keys before he goes to the passenger side.

"Fuck you." Michonne catches the keys that Rick tossed and got in the driver side of the old pickup truck that belong to Herschel. "You like being chauffeured...You know you don't see shit. Halloween is tomorrow is all"

"I really like your driving. Plus all the shit you give me at work...Glad for you to do something for me." Rick smiled.

"I always do stuff for you Rick." Michonne started up the pick up truck and began driving them back to the mortuary where they both lived.

"Like what?"

"I baked you a pie and I hate baking."

"Yeah...that was because you were sorry for knocking me down that fucking grave Eugene dug."

"How many times must I say sorry? How many ways can I show you that I am sorry?"

"Well, I have some ideas." Rick stared at the side of Michonne face. Michonne instantly noticed the change in tone and mischief from Rick.

"I was watching you check out Carol and Sasha..." Michonne cut her eyes at Rick.

"I watch you too and what do you make of that?"

"I don't know what should I make of it?"

"I don't want Carol's crazy ass who killed her dog and Sasha who isn't sure if she meant to warn her neighbor or kill her neighbor? Sometimes Michonne I wonder about you."

"They both seem attracted to you Rick."

"Why do you think that? Because they smile at me? Because they offer me a napkin because I just spilled **your** cup of coffee all over my self? Help me Michonne with this thing you got with pawning me off on someone else?"

"I was thinking we both need to get our feet wet and date. It's been two fucking years you know."

"If you think that I want to date Carol then you are crazier than , than, than fucking Carol."

"Then it leaves Sasha. I fucking knew it." Michonne hand tighten around the steering wheel.

Rick was completely perplexed that he had no other words for five minutes as he thought long and hard about Michonne and her crazy antics.

"Next meeting you need to talk about your Paranoia Michonne."

"I am not paranoid. You just confirmed my suspicion." Michonne countered.

"You confirmed mine as well. That if your not paranoid then you are jealous."

"I am not fucking jealous Rick."

"I don't know why you would be jealous. I still maintain if I was going to be with anyone it would only be you. Why you can't get that through you thick skull I have no earthly idea how else to tell you other than in so many fucking words an actions. I only want you Michonne. Nothing has changed. I am just waiting for you to want me back."

Michonne arrived to Herschel's Mortuary that was also a huge home with many rooms. Herschel, Granny Mabel, Eugene, Tyrese, Michonne and Rick resided. She came to a sudden and complete stop that jerked Rick forward.

"I'm crazy, Rick. You are Crazy. You dig graves." Michonne stated.

"I'm crazy too. You are real Crazy and you style dead people's hair." Rick stated.

"Fuck you Rick. Get out of the truck and leave me to my madness."

"I would really love for you to fuck me just once Michonne. Just to see if I can just be done with you, you know." Rick made no move to get out of the truck.

BAM! The windshield shattered and thin lines creaked and ran across the glass. The pickup began to rock vigorously back and forth. Michonne eyes were wide with fear and confusion that matched Rick who wished in that very moment he had his gun.

A/N: I know I have other fics. I had this at my finger tips and it will be I pray a short one. I have a chapter written for the Check, Honey bee, Temporary view and Devil is a Liar. A reviewer put the Devil is a liar back on my Radar. Thank you! When I get distracted...

This is my first time celebrating Halloween with a fic. No candy, better not ring my doorbell.


	2. Chapter 2

"The Edge... There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."  
― Hunter S. Thompson, Hell's Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga

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Rick grabbed the flashlight from the glove box. Surprised to see the back of the Mortuary where the living took place completely dark. He made his way over to the driver side door to make sure Michonne was safe within his physical means to keep her that way as they walked towards the house together. The moon was full but not much else that night. It was pretty easy to surmise that there was a power outage of sorts. Each home that could be seen in the distance was losing power one by one. They headed to the door of the back of the home where they could see a candlelight flicker.

"There was a boom and the house shook. Are you and Michonne okay?" Herschel was still flickering the lighter try to get the flame to take to the wick."

"Something hit the windshield of your Truck and shattered it. Can't make out what it could have been but I guess by morning we will have a better idea. Happened soon as we parked. The pickup truck began to rocking too." Rick told Herschel.

"We can check it out in the morning for sure. No worrying about it at this hour. Mabel where did you put my radio? I would like to get some news to know what could be going on in our area."

"It's in the attic. I am not going up in the attic with no power and you will not either. We going to take our butts to bed. We got the dead waiting on us in the morning to finish the job and get em in the ground so they can be in their final resting spot. Come on now Herschel, let's go. The young folks are home safe."

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I walked Michonne to her room. I asked her if she wanted me to come in and keep her company.

"I know you are scared and I am willing to hang out with you a little longer until you fall asleep in your room."

"No. Granny Mabel is right. We have a long day tomorrow."

I handed Michonne the flashlight and she took it.

"Good night Michonne."

"Good night Rick."

She closed the door. I stood there staring at it. I didn't move from the hall. I felt an urge come over me to knock on her door and tell her that I wanted more than to have sex with her. That I thought more of her. That I was in love with her and I wanted her badly. Even though she was damaged goods. She was fucking nuts I would tell anyone that listened that she was crazier than a Bessie bug. I rested my head on her door wondering if she felt the same. Even if she felt a little bit towards me in that direction, I could wait. I would wait for it to grow to match what I desired...what I craved quietly when I am lost in thought about her.

"I fucking love you Michonne." I said outside her door.

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Rick walked me to my room that is across from his. I knew what he would ask. He wanted to come in my room. He has been asking for a while now and each time he is getting bolder with his intentions. I guess you can call it more comfortable with me that he say the craziest shit and think he has the right because he is less crazy than me. I was there when he was drunk and pissed himself.

He said it was because he saw Lori's ghost again.

"It had nothing to do with Lori. You had to piss and your ass was to lazy to go when you know damn well you had to go."

We use to get sloppy drunk together when we got passed the initial I don't like you and will never like you phase. We use to stay up till the crack of dawn and argue about if it really was Fog above the trees or clouds. Crazy shit we would talk about.

"No. Granny Mabel is right we have a long day tomorrow."

I closed my door after our good nights which was our routine. I stood by my door. My forehead rested there. I knew he was on the other side. I just knew. An urge came over me to open my door but I couldn't. I wanted more than sex with Rick. I wanted to love him.

I wanted to show him that I was ready but he was absolutely king of the Nutty world of Nuts. I think he is psychotic even though he says I am sociopath. I don't think he understands the definition because he is that too! A fucking sociopath. We were two sociopaths that had a psychotic break. He doesn't accept my diagnosis. Reminds me that I am a lawyer and not a damn doctor. I hate to talk to Rick when we start discussing who's more crazy.

"I fucking love you Rick." I said more to myself with my head still resting on my bedroom door.

I turn into my darkened room once I hear Ricks door open and closes. I make haste to take a shower before there is no more water available from the well since I didn't know how long the electric would be out.

I had the flashlight propped on the bathroom sink. I was trying to take a 3 minute shower. Wet my skin, lather and rinse when the flash light fell and I was immersed in darkness. It felt like some one was in the bathroom with me. I swung open the shower curtain but no one was there as I grabbed for my towel and quickly dried off. I threw on my long t-shirt and pulled on my panties. I felt chills down my neck and the hairs on my arm was standing on end.

In the tiny bathroom, I knew no one could possible be in there with me without me bumping into them immediately. I picked up the flashlight and slid the on and off back and forth but, it did not come back on . I pounded it in the palm of my hands and it flickered while I stood by the sink and for a moment in the mirror I could have sworn that I saw Mike looking right at me.

My heart was racing as I pounded the flashlight to stay on to only see my reflection in the mirror. I had to calm down before I hightailed it out of my room and make Rick's dreams come true by banging on his bedroom door. I had to brush my teeth.

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I took a cold shower. I dried off and pretty much did a good job maneuvering in the darkness. I opened my curtains to let the full moon in and it helped. I still stubbed my toe on the edge of the bed. That would happen at least once a week regardless of a power outage.

I began thinking about Michonne. I was hoping the cold shower would chill my thoughts about her but it didn't. I wanted Michonne in the worst way and I refuse to use my hand to get her out of my system even though I ached to do just that...I made up my mind that if I was going to nut it will be in a condom because I am giving it so good to Michonne or she wants me condom less while I am giving it so good to her... No more wasting my time. I am a patient man.

I heard a light tapping at my door as I was about to doze off.

"Rick...Rick...Can I come in?"

I quickly get up and open my door and Michonne is standing there in the darkened hallway. She smelled good. She always smelled good..

"Why?"

"I am scared. Mike is in my room. I know it. I can feel it. He was in my mirror."

"Well tell him I said hello." I was tired of Michonne only using her nightmares or her room hauntings to be her reason to jump in to bed with me. It was annoying. Last week it was the three kids that were killed on the bus that was in her room jumping on and off her bed.

I don't believe in taking anything by force by any means but Michonne and I were going to cross that line in the sand if she came in my room tonight and I wasn't going to give up easily on the idea of us becoming intimate. At least once. We kissed when were drunk and that was over a year ago. The next day I went sober and didn't look back. She sobered up too the next day.

Now that we are both sober we can at least fuck. Hell I would be okay with you show me yours and I will show you mine.

"Rick you going to let me in?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"Michonne..."

"I am scared Rick. I don't want to be alone."

"There is Eugene."

"He has a mullet and he smells bad."

"There is Tyrese."

"He would be ready to fuck for sure."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because that is what I want and if you aren't ready I would suggest you play with your ghost. Make nice with all the spirits that like to haunt you." I began to close my door but she stopped me.

"Why are you doing this Rick?"

"Because I love you. I am in love you. Have been in love with you for over a year. The moment we kissed."

"We did not kiss."

"Oh...that's right...you were so drunk you don't remember. I remember and I know you remember to. It sobered us both the fuck up the very next day. Michonne...if I allow you in this room... if you step over this threshold, we are fucking tonite. I have condoms in the nightstand so you can't think of any excuse that it isn't going to go down...if not to night...one night and I am waiting patiently for that night or day to come."

"You are an asshole. I am telling you I am scared and..."

"Make up your mind Michonne. If you are coming in it means you are ready to do this. What's it going to be?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Sweet, crazy conversations full of half sentences, daydreams and misunderstandings more thrilling than understanding could ever be."  
― Toni Morrison, Beloved

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Michonne made one slight motion that she was going to move foreward. She took one step and I took that as a yes and instantly pulled her completely inside my room. I had her body pressed against mine and I slammed my bedroom door shut and made quick work with the lock. It was going to happen and I was going to be greedy and wear her the fuck out.

Michonne has multiple personalities. She can't use that old excuse that she was drunk. That excuse was so worn out for her various reasons for why she said this or that in the past. She won't admit to having multiple personalities, so yeah... If she wont remember because she slipped in to the three faces of Eve or her major personality Sybil, I Rick Grimes of sound mind will remember this most anticipated night of passionate love making. Based on the clock on my nightstand, I had eight hours before Michonne morphs and feigns amnesia.

The first climax was like an out of body experience for me. I haven't been with a woman in a long time. Not since Lori and I'm not counting that time a little over a year ago I let Jessie Anderson suck my dick. That was a dark period of my life and I needed the fucking release very badly at the time and plus I was pissy drunk. In my mind that does not count. It doesn't count. Plus Michonne walked in on us. She wouldn't look at me for a month. She wouldn't talk to me for another month. For two months I lost my drinking buddy.

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I was trying to make up my mind whether or not I wanted to go there with Rick. To just get it out of the way because it has always been that multicolored cat between us. We were both sexually frustrated.

I didn't fully make up my mind but he hurried my decision making, by pulling me into his room and slamming his door closed. He made quick work with having me out of my t-shirt and underwear in less than 3 seconds easy. He spent a whole minute just taking me in...like he didn't know where to start. Suddenly the act of kissing occurred to him he put both his hands on my face and brought his lips down to mine and kissed me with so much sincerity that I instantly melted. We didn't mesh perfectly at first but it was the best I have ever been kissed in my life.

I have only had one sexual partner in my whole life and I don't count that time that I experimented in college with Andrea. I was desperate at the time to have a friend. When I look back at that time I could have been easily lead to do anything, all in the name of being artsy. I met Mike in college and he was my first. My only reference point to what I was experiencing with Rick.

At the time Mike wasn't very experienced and we kind of learned from each other what we liked or didn't like. One thing that Mike would not do is eat pussy. He tried it once with me and for whatever reason he didn't like it. It didn't bother me because I didn't like him doing it. He definitely wasn't Andrea who knew how to eat pussy. Mike didn't mind to have me suck his dick though and obliged twice a year. His birthday and our anniversary. We were married 10 years before I killed him. Put his ass out of his misery. He was a miserable motherfucker.

Rick made work all over my body. He had me shivering, moaning and screaming. My first orgasm hit me and he hadn't yet penetrated or used his tongue nor his fingers. I came all over his naked knee. He let me, He watched me come undone as I dripped wetness from my private parts on to him. He pulled me further on top of him where I was squarely on his chest and my pelvis was grinding against his penis. We were so fucking horny and it was so fucking erotic just our bodies finally being free to join and get acquainted in the most intimate way.

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I couldn't grab the box of condoms before I came all over Michonne and myself, who was on top of me grinding her well groomed landing strip of pussy hair against my dick. The friction was incredible. I ejaculated and it wasn't how I anticipated. I thought for sure it would be in a condom plowing in out of Michonne or condom less inside of Michonne. My body in that moment had a mind of it's own. I kept grinding against her...desperately craving that human contact that she was providing that I desired only from her. My hard on didn't soften. This is where I wanted to be as I stared into her eyes and she into mine. I wanted every inch of her as I felt another incredible swell of desire over come me as my dick found it's place between her thighs and eventually inside of her pussy.

Michonne let me cum inside her. When I knew I had a few strokes left before I would climax I asked her if she was sure because I could easily try and pull out but she said that she was on birth control. Some type of shots. So I picked up the pace to the point I couldn't even slow down. Savor it a little bit longer but when she started screaming my name and telling me how good it was too her...yeah. We lasted four of those eight hours. I never slept so deeply in a long time. Ghost could jump all on my bed if they want too. I was OUT.

I woke up to find Michonne gone the next morning.

She was outside and from the window her and I made eye contact as I took in the scene. As predicted Michonne had that demeanor that she was going to play like she had no recollection as she flirted with some tall lanky guy that was replacing the windshield to the old pick up truck. He wrote something on the back of the card and Michonne took it. I made my way outside to see what was going on but the windshield guy had already drove off smiling and waving at Michonne.

"What you got there Michonne?"

"He gave me his card."

"What is his name?"

"Spencer."

"Let me see the card Michonne."

She hands it to me and I shred the fuck out of it. Shredded it until it was in tiny fucking jigsaw puzzle pieces. I threw it up in the air and it rained all around her.

"Why the heck you do that?"

"Am I talking to Michonne or Sybil right now?"

"Why did you do that Rick?"

"Because you fucking belong to me."

"I was networking you asshole? For another job or..."

"You want me to fucking believe you are going from makeup and hairstylist of the dead to replacing windshields? I am done talking to you Sybil. Please bring Michonne out. Michonne remembers last night."

"If you don't stop calling me Sybil I will push you down another hole and throw dirt on top of you. Bury you alive you keep messing with me. You are impulsive and you need to talk about it at the next meeting. I had only slept with you once. I can't imagine what you would be like if it happened again."

"A very happy man."

"Don't you have some graves to dig?"

"You are going to have my baby."

"Impossible."

"How's that?"

"My eggs can only be fertilized by sperm not by crazy."

"I am going to kiss you now."

"Okay."

I had Michonne pressed against the driver side door of the pickup truck. We were getting a little carried away when Tyrese came outside whistling a tune strolling over to where we were with Eugene who quietly watched.

"See Eugene I told you all that banging on the walls last night was because Grimes finally made a homerun. I told you man it wasn't no ghost."

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A/N:Happy belated Halloween I would have had this out sooner but I got so distracted it was just terrible had so many stories competing with being told. Yes, I am going to my other fics. Promise.

If I were to continue this story it would go as follow below...lol

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I don't know why Tyrese keeps saying there isn't any ghost. I have seen them with my own two eyes. They stand on the other side of my door. They won't let me leave my room at night. They only leave if Tyrese comes out of his room and comes to my door. They don't stand there anymore. Three kids. Around about the age of 5 years old. It creeps me out to see them.

I communicate to Tyrese through the hole in the wall. One night I was so scared and I kept pounding the wall for Tyrese to hear me that I punched a hole clear through. My whole arm went through. I keep it covered by a Captain America Poster and Tyrese has his side covered with Janet Jackson poster. A 1990s Janet. If I need to leave the room to get a sandwich or night snack I just stick my arm through and wait for Tyrese to notice his poster fluttering.

Tyrese watches a lot of Porn. His favorite is big booty babes loving black dick while he has his headset on listening to Drake, Sex so good I shouldn't have to fuck for free...He thinks that song is about him. He told me so. He says he is going to find me a girlfriend. I don't know how to tell him I am not interested. I like being to myself. I like digging graves and mowing the lawn at the cemetery. I like it and I don't want to ever go back to prison.

I spent 8years in prison for killing my mother. I drowned her in the bathtub. She fell asleep and I crept in and held her under the water until her body stopped moving. She stopped clawing at me. That is what gave me away...I had wounds they say. I was suppose to serve a life sentence but it was only eight years. I got out on a technical error that my lawyer made. They didn't present to the jury my abuse as a kid at the hands of my mother and her many boyfriends. Yeah, I am just not interested in relationships. I just want to tend to the cemetery and help Herschel with the bodies when ever he needs a extra hand down in the morgue.

I'm just thinking I've done my introduction before but I never mentioned I am not interested in relationships. I don't think that is completely true. I like my friendship with Tyrese. I like my friendship with Grimes and Michonne when they aren't acting really crazy. I think of Herschel and Ms. Mabel as the parents I never had. I also think of all of you here today as friends and it feels good to not be rejected. HI. My name is Eugene Mitchell and I drowned my mother.

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I don't know if I was going over to talk. I just know I had the gun in my hand and shot her. I shot my husband's mother. I shot his brother and I would of shot Daryl if he would have stopped me. Hi my name is Sasha and I killed my husband's mother and brother.


	4. Chapter 4

I am still trying to process what happened. I am more sad at the fact that I had to kill my dog. Her name was Trixie. She was a white Pit-bull. She was so beautiful. I think that is why I can relate so much to Michonne over there. My husband would hit me for burning his toast or not having things just right in the home.

I had the gun in my hands. I just hate that I didn't kill my husband. I was going to shoot him. I was going to kill my husband but, I shot Trixie who had already killed my husband Frank and she was turning to come to me. Hi. My name is Carol. I killed my dog Trixie.

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There is definitely more to the story than what Sasha is letting on. It definitely has put a strain on our marriage. We have been married eight years. First marriage for the both of us. High school sweethearts. I have never been with anyone else but Sasha. She is my world. She is my baby.

I had to take a pay cut at the cookie factory. Everyones hours were cut. We couldn't make due on less. It just wasn't feasible. So, I took on some side jobs with my brother Meryl catching gators down in florida or road kill here in King's County. I needed to make the extra money. Legal money. I had Sasha to think about and our son Maverick. I even took some odd jobs at Herschel's Mortuary. That is where I met Grimes over there. Eugene and Tyrese. Hey. I've seen Michonne a couple of times and that was whenever I went inside and she would be styling someone's hair. Hi.

I promise you I didn't know what my Mama Pattybelle Dixon and my brother Meryl were cooking up over there next door. I didn't know they had a meth lab operation going on. Meryl never made it pass the 5th grade. How he would think he could cook meth is a wonder to me. From the story that was told to me Mama and Meryl were arguing out in the lawn about who drank the last of the Mississippi Moonshine when Boom. I was at work when it happened. When Sasha called me...

Maverick was playing in our yard when it happened and debris...Maverick was dead instantly...It still hurts to talk about it. He was only five years old. My first kid. Our first kid. Gone at the hands of his granny and uncle.

We were mourning. Only time can lessen that kind of heart break. Nothing else. Time. Herschel helped with best he could saying things can break but they can still grow. Sasha is pregnant now with twins. I got my hours back up at the cookie factory. I don't know...I felt some kind of way coming home every day to find Sasha in Mavericks room crying. He would have been 6 years old, Halloween that just passed.

My Mama Pattybelle and Meryle were out on bond. They were drunk keeping up a ruckus as usual. Never once did they say sorry or have any regrets about Maverick. No condolences. Nothing. I got my gun. Sasha followed me out the house. She demanded that I give her the gun that nothing is solved with a gun. That I shouldn't force them to recognize that their actions killed Maverick. Sasha said that we need to be able to talk like we are civilized. I gave Sasha the gun to hold.

"We would like an apology."

"For what?" Mama Pattybelle stopped her drunken diatribe.

"Y'all killed my boy, Maverick."

"You should have paid more attention..." POW

Meryl began laughing. POW

Within seconds, Sasha shot them both dead. She aimed the gun at me when I instinctively reached for her to put it down but she aimed it at me before she broke down right there.

I carried my wife back to our trailer. I buried the gun. Hi. My name is Daryl Dixon and I helped my wife get away with murder.

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Rick and Michonne left the meeting in the pickup truck. No one any the wiser that the two were in a relationship, other than Tyrese and Eugene who were in attendance at the meeting. Their romantic relationship was seven days new and of the seven, they slept together only three times. If Rick had his way it would have been every day that the romantic relationship was consummated but he let Michonne feign that she had a headache or she was on her period that lasted one day for each ailment. One night she said she was trapped in her room, by her mattress, and that was the night that Rick had the heaviest sleep come over him...

"So what do you think about me and Sasha now?"

"I don't."

"Good. Glad her husband was there. Now we got more of the story. I would do that for you...help you get a way with murder."

"I would hope you would stop me from naming any child, Maverick."

"I don't think Maverick is such a bad name."

"If I were to have a son his name would be Andre."

"Wait...I thought crazy couldn't impregnate your scrambled eggs?"

"Crazy can't." Michonne said as a matter-of-factly.

Rick cut his eyes at Michonne as he drove the pickup truck from their latest meeting. "I was actually talking about hiding the gun if you did something like that. I would help you. I know I would."

"You would be an accessory to murder."

"I would help you with anything. I hope it's mutual."

"It is not. I wouldn't be an accessory to anything. If it ain't right it ain't right. If I am going to shoot someone you better believe I meant it and I would be ready to pay the price for my actions. Sasha had ample time to take those two racist fuckers out. She should have done it in the heat of the moment when her son was laying in the grass dead. Now, all the law need to do is sniff in the right place and those fools could be behind bars with brand new babies to boot."

"The papers has it listed as gang related. But, either way I would be hiding your knife. You would have stabbed them to death." Rick continued driving along until he reached the back of the Mortuary where the living lived.

"I saw Jessie yesterday. She wanted to know why you haven't been returning her calls."

"Are you about to start shit with me now? Now that we are about to go inside? You waited all day. We could have resolved this shit in your head earlier in the day. You pick this time to put up another road block? We are having sex again tonight Michonne. So tell Sybil and Eve and Queenisha good night because I am going to my room to grab my pajamas and toothbrush and I am coming in your room. We're, not your multiple personalities, but **you** and I are going to take a shower together and without much more resistance from you we are going to make some love tonight."

"How long have you been in contact with Jessie, Rick? Let me rephrase, when was the last time YOU talked to Jessie, Rick?"

"I don't talk to Jessie. You should know...better yet, I am due for a phone upgrade. We are going to the Cellular store together. I am getting a new damn phone and new damn number. How about that? "

"Maybe we need to hold off until all that is done." Michonne suggested.

"No. Don't play with me, Michonne. You would think you just saw Jessie three minutes ago choking on my huge dick the way you are acting. It's been over a year now. Holy hell woman."

Michonne began smiling, "Huge?"

"Do I need to refresh your memory?"

"I have no problem with my memory."

"You said I am bigger than Mike."

"I say a lot of things."

"You finally admit it. Where the fucking witnesses when I need one."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dealing with Michonne could be exhausting if I wasn't in love with her. I had a little tune in my head as I made haste to get my pajamas and in my bathroom my toothbrush. When I came out of my bathroom, my mattress was on the window and my box spring was blocking the door.

"Fuck."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I sat on my bed waiting for Rick. I waited a whole four minutes before I made my way to start my nightly routine. I came out to find Rick still hadn't made it to my room. I thought he wanted me to chase after him so I made sure I didn't. I thought he was playing some type of game. I had an unusual heaviness come over me so I crawled into my bed and instantly fell asleep.

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A/N: I really don't know how I come up with these stories. Thanks for the Reviews and follows.


	5. Chapter 5

XXXXXXX

"The batshit kind of love that makes no sense at all… and at the same time… all the sense in the world… That is us… You and me; a "WE."  
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

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Everybody knows that black people can't float. Some of us know how to doggy paddle and that is due to a fear of drowning. One thing for sure black people can't float. That is what my Uncle Charley always told us growing up, _'stay out the goddamn water'_.

Any way, I love women. I love all kinds. I love them and would probably be a porn star if I knew how to break into that field but, right now I am grateful to work at Herschel's Mortuary. I am a grave digger. I handle placing the casket in the ground just so. You really haven't hit bottom until the casket drop. Rick Grimes over there coined that phrase. Ha. That's my man. We are friends now. He arrested me 3 or four times when he was an officer. Good dude right there for _sho_.

I have never been faithful to one woman even though I had my main woman and her name was Donna. She didn't have any titties and her ass was flat but she was good to me. I was living with Donna. Donna took good care of me. She made sure I had my books overflowing while I was in jail. She didn't care that I didn't have job. She knew or she understood that it was hard out there for a felon like me to make ends meet.

I really had a thing for women who either had big booties or titties and I was in heaven if they had both but Big booty Brenda was certainly my downfall.

Donna was athletic believe it or not. Out door type. She loved swimming. Going out on the river with her family. Kayaking was one of her favorite things to do.

Being who I am...a black man, I wasn't to fond of the water. I should have known to keep my black ass at home when she suggested that we go out fishing and it would give us a chance to talk about our relationship. My dumbass thought that was why she wanted to go out on the water. Wanted me out on the water. Then I got paranoid. Real paranoid.

It was nothing bigger than a canoe. She started off nice and sweet and when I noticed where the conversation was going. I knew instantly that I made the wrong move by taking my non swimming ass out on the pond with that crazy ass bitch. She flipped or I flipped the canoe over and we both were in that goddamn water. I had it in my mind that she was trying to drown my black ass.

Looking back on that moment I guess I was the one that was rocking it back and forth...from side to side. I was in a panic state. When we fell out, I clung to her.

I am a big fella as you can see and Donna wasn't more than a buck 130 soaking wet. Well, I didn't know that I could just stand up in the water. That it was just 5 feet deep. I didn't know. I just, well I drowned her. My fear overwhelmed me. My fear of not having control and having no way to breathe...I was a petty thief, car jacker, bad check writer, identity theft kind of shit. I never had someone die at my hands. Die because of me.

Hi, My name is Tyrese, I accidentally killed my girlfriend because I was afraid to stand on my own two feet.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rick followed behind a quiet Michonne. It was Michonne, he just didn't know what side of Michonne that was ready to reveal and possibly ruin the whole rest of the evening if he did not tread carefully.

"Is it true that black people can't float?"

"Don't repeat nothing that ignorant motherfucker just said. You didn't see me turn the volume down on him?"

Michonne and Rick would exaggerate with the twisting of their ear lobe, forward meant turning the volume down or not listening. Twisting their ear lobe in the opposite direction meant turning up the volume, or really listening. They spent a lot of meetings sitting across from each other communicating in that way.

"I had that black bastard on mute as soon as he kept going on and on about Big Booty Brenda and Big Tittie Tammy. Ughh...I hate men sometimes."

Rick picked up his stride to walk side by side with Michonne since it seemed that they **were** talking to one another. He unlocked her door for her to get in on the passenger side.

"What are you doing Rick?"

"Unlocking your door."

"This is the first time you are doing it this way."

"I thought..."

"You thinking now?"

Rick had the passenger door opened for Michonne to get in, "Just get in the damn truck." Rick slammed her passenger door.

Rick braced himself for the tongue lashing he knew he would have to endure by slamming her door or just for what ever she wanted to take issue with since it was the end of the meeting.

"Since you are thinking at what point were you going to get me out of the mental institution hell hole I found myself stuck in for two weeks Rick?"

"Michonne, how the hell was I to know that you would self admit. How was I to know that you would take the only transportation that I have access to and go to the mental hospital and tell them you want to kill your self? How was I to know that? Remember I dig fucking graves. I am not paid to be your twenty four hour companion even though I would happily be that for free if you weren't so fucking Crazy."

"I don't remember saying any of it. I don't remember driving there. I just found myself two days in, restrained to a bed." Michonne began to cry.

"Well, I got you out. Eugene and I got you out of there. We walked five fucking miles to get to you. Luckily Eugene looks like one of the quack doctors. He said some gibberish kind of shit and we were able to get you out. Let's focus on that. You are not there. You are here with me."

"I am not crazy Rick."

Rick cut his eye at Michonne with out a response to confirm or deny her craziness.

"I am not crazy Rick." Michonne repeated with more conviction in her tone.

"Okay. You are not crazy **right now**."

"You are crazy. I heard you talking to Lori. You were talking to her as if she was talking to you back. I watched you in your bedroom. Your door was cracked open."

"Making shit up about me does not make you less Crazy Michonne."

"She had on the lingerie that she would wear for you when she was with Shane."

"How the fuck you know that?"

"The position she was in was one she would never let you attempt because she said only animals did it that way."

"I have no idea how you would fucking know that." Rick tried to keep his eye on the road. He had to think clearly before locking eyes with her. She was watching him and it unnerved him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I pulled in to the parking lot of a motel. Last time I had sex with Michonne was over two weeks ago...almost three weeks. We had only done it three times. With her held up in the looney bin where technically she belonged if I didn't love her so fucking much, I needed release and she was the only woman I wanted. I needed Michonne to the point it was all I thought about. Morning, noon, and night. Blue balls was no fun.

"Rick, this is not the mortuary."

I ignored her as I got out and paid for us a room. I got the key and made haste looking for room 13. I didn't get any resistance from Michonne who got out the truck and followed me up the stairs to the second floor. I had taken off her dress once inside. Her bra and panties came next as she stood there allowing me to undress her.

She requested to shower first since the bathroom was just slightly bigger than a closet. I watched her walk in and close the door. I took her panties and gave it a good sniff. "God, I love you Michonne."

I removed the comforter that looked like it had seen better days and tossed it to the floor as I held on to Michonnes panties. I was shirtless at this point. I fell back on the mattress that began to move, shake. I realized it was one of those vibrating beds and I allowed it to do it's thing. Vibrate as my hand rubbed my achy hard on. I was a million miles a way in my mind when Michonne came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body.

"What are you doing with my panties Rick?"

I was so horny I didn't even know to be embarrassed.

"Get in the shower and don't take so long. I am giving you three minutes." Michonne commanded as she snatched her panties from me.

When I came out of the shower I found Michonne on top of the bed on all fours. Ass in the air. That beautiful black mound called ass. I dropped the towel from my waist and went to work. I buried my face in there and I buried my dick. Home sweet home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I think that was what I needed. I needed one big orgasm. I think with the sexual energy pent up it was making me crazier than usual. Rick gave me multiples. He made me sane and it felt so damn good to come undone. We laid there hours later with the bed vibrating not realizing it was unplugged.


	6. Chapter 6

"There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. While this may not seem beneficial, it is. There are times when reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind."  
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So you and the hairdresser of the dead..."

I needed something to do. I wasn't going to go back to the force and my mother Ella was literally driving me crazy. She kept trying to get me to move on with my life. Not let the fact that I murdered my wife and her lover with one bullet slow me down from meeting the woman of my dreams. It was never something that I pursued with Michonne at first.

I didn't notice Michonne in that way. Romantic feelings grew but it wasn't there at all between us in the beginning. I think we were more an annoyance to each other. I called her Medusa based on her hair and she called me a dirty ass redneck motherfucker. She said I smelled bad. I don't know anyone who dig graves smelling like roses but she has this hangup about odors. I told her if she sniffing me may be she is standing too damn close and to step the fuck back.

I use to think something was going on with her and Tyrese. They seemed to get a long more often than not. She did not like Eugene at all because she didn't like mullets and he wouldn't let her cut his hair because the scissors she was going to use were the same exact scissors she used on the dead. Plus, Michonne isn't the best hairstylist, she was just the only hairstylist that would work for a little bit of nothing. I think it was us being alcohol buddies that got us comfortable. Now that we are sober, I can't imagine being without her.

I had no idea why I was explaining myself to Shane who was always asking for an explanation about me and Michonne. I kept pounding my head with my fist to get him to stop asking me how me and Michonne started out. Shane kept asking me...

"Rick are you okay?" Michonne stopped her sobbing.

Her voice caused me to focus on the task at hand. We were officially going to be late for the meeting if Michonne didn't get her ass from the bottom of the freshly dug grave. Tyrese and Eugene already left. She was laying there on her back crying.

"Michonne, why are you down there? We need to go. We need to be at the meeting."

"I am broken Rick." Michonne began to wail.

"I know you are, Michonne." I was not about to lie to her. Plus I don't think it was Michonne down there and it wasn't Sybil. The Michonne I thought I knew would never lay in the dirt. Ever.

"Like in a million pieces and I can't seem to find them so I can put them back together. I want to be me Rick."

"Well that is a conversation you need to have with Sybil and the rest of your personalities. The one I don't like the most is Sybil. You need to be more forceful and push her out once and for all. I am getting pretty tired of her anyway. She always pretend she has no clue to who the hell I am to you Michonne."

Michonne and I both have been off our meds for sometime. Her withdrawal seemed to be worse than mine.

"If you let me help you out of there we can try together because, I am broken too and the only time I am not is when we are together. We need each other Michonne so we don't become unhinged like when we aren't together."

Michonne finally stopped crying and we just stared at each other. I was on my stomach reaching my hand out to her. I needed Michonne to stand up and take my hand and get out of there. I needed Michonne more than I could comprehend more than who ever I was trying to reason with could comprehend.

"Are you saying you are my crazy glue?" Michonne asked me.

"I am and you are mine. Now let's go."

She finally stood up and let me pull her out . I dusted her off and had to admit she smelled really, really bad. "I guess we are going to miss the meeting after all." I tried not frown my face up at her but it was nearly impossible not to do.

"Why Rick?"

"Because you smell bad Michonne, and I refuse for anyone to think badly about you at the meeting, so what _we_ are going to do is go inside, get naked, shower _together and_ make some sweet love so we can be less crazy. We _need_ to be less crazy and right now that is what helps us."

"Okay." Michonne sniffed and took my hand as I led her inside the part of the house where the living lived.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I don't remember being at the bottom of the freshly dug grave. I have no memory of it at all.

I couldn't understand why we weren't at the meeting. Why we didn't go because this was the day of the week that we always went. What I do remember is Rick licking my breast like they were ice cream and his hands were the cones.. He was rotating his hips as he slowly slid in and out. He knew when he did it like that I would always have the most intense orgasms. My body was arching and my hips reached for him to go deeper. I needed him to go faster but he was doing it to me real slow. He was making sure I was present as he stared down at me. His eye so blue. He was waiting for me.

"I love you Michonne. I love you..."

"Faster Rick...Faster..."

He sped up going deeper just the way I like him to do it to me. It wasn't long before we were climaxing together and in that moment I got a glimpse of my sanity.

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A/N: I know this story is crazy as hell. I know, and I am so fascinated with this dynamic that I sit here and wonder how the hell did I come up with this...


	7. Chapter 7

"Except you cannot outrun insanity, anymore than you can outrun your own shadow."  
― Alyssa Reyans, Letters from a Bipolar Mother

...

Herschel was worked up. He had no idea how to stop Michonne from digging holes. Herschel was relieved to see Rick who strolled in to the kitchen after having had a hot shower and a clean change of clothes.

Today was meeting day.

"Rick, go out there and stop Michonne from digging God Damn holes."

"Today is meeting day. Why the hell she digging holes?"

"The hell if I know. I promise you I am going to call Father Gabriel to do an exorcism. I know Mabel is against it but I am going to do it if you two don't settle down. No one is going to tell me Michonne ain't possessed. I am not sure what the right frame of mind is for Michonne but I can't say she been in it if she really did kill her husband as she tells the story. I thought Dr. Deanna would do her some good but Michonne's soul ain't resting. I don't know why Mabel have y'all going to Séances. Y'all need to stop attending."

All Rick heard was the name Father Gabriel. He didn't hear anything else. He thought he misheard.

"Father Gabriel. The one who has performed 15 exorcisms that killed thirteen people trying get the devil out of em? No. No offense Herschel but I be damned if he thinks he's coming near Michonne. I will not have anyone messing over Michonne. She has multiples she ain't possessed." Rick declared.

"Get her to stop digging holes. All she's doing is bringing attention to all of us here trying to live in peace."

...

We were missing our second meeting in a row this month. Two weeks straight. I couldn't get Michonne to put the fucking shovel down so we could leave. I knew it was Michonne. I know when it is Sybil in all her evil ass glory because I was dealing with her all day yesterday that I had to take a fucking break. A Time out.

How do I know when I was dealing with Sybil? She would say the meanest shit which causes me to lose my shit if I don't walk the fuck away. Example?

"Who you staring at like that you little pink dick motherfucker?"

"That ain't how Michonne would describe it..." I countered.

"You a lying sack of shit. I like my men darker, taller and buff, like Tyrese."

"Sybil, it is very good to know you ain't no where around when I am fucking the shit out of Michonne to the point she is like...Tyrese who?"

I left Sybil stumped.

Today was the meeting day and we just weren't going now that Michonne was obsessed with digging random holes in the ground. I counted 34 fucking holes.

"What are you doing Michonne?"

"What you think I am doing?" She shoveled the earth and placed it in a neat pile.

"I would say if you are the new grave digger you are making too many holes and none of them are deep enough for a casket of any kind unless you are burying a dead pet hamster that I don't know anything about. So based on my Guestimation you need to stick to hairdresser and makeup artist of the dead."

"I have to figure out something." Michonne was intent on digging.

"What are you doing Michonne? Why are you digging all these holes?"

"I am looking for your pills." Michonne rested one hand on the top of the shovel handle and the other on her hip looking around. I was completely flabbergasted at the various empty holes throughout the back of the Mortuary.

"My pills?" I wasn't sure I heard her correctly because we buried both our collection of pills together in the same place. Where? I had no idea. I just know we buried them together, swearing off any and all prescription medication that was supposed to make us feel better about life but made us feel even more dead inside. Numb.

"You need to be on your fucking Xanax. You need to take the whole damn bottle when I figure out where the fuck we buried all _our_ pills."

"I thought we decided to stay off the pills. I thought we decided we weren't depressed or full of anxiety. I don't have anxiety attacks any more Michonne."

"Then how did you get locked a way on the fourth floor? Why did you think it was a good idea to take the Gold Jogging suit that Mr. Jones wanted to be buried in and actually go jogging in it? The police found you jogging on Route 666 before you passed the fuck out. How was that a good idea Rick?"

"I don't remember doing that Michonne."

"I had to get Eugene to get you out of there yesterday. Luckily, Eugene has a resemblance to some quack doctor up in there and got you out speaking all kinds of nonsense to have you released in to his custody."

"I know Michonne. I know. I have no memory of how I got in, I just remember being there and not being able to get out."

"What pills did we bury that you need, Rick?" Michonne was insistent.

"I don't need pills Michonne. I just need you."

"You going to talk to me?"

"I don't want to lose you. Not again."

"Why do you talk like that?"

"Like what?"

"What you just said. Losing me? It scares me when you say it that way."

"I don't know why. It was just right there for me to say. It's this feeling that I have loved you for a long time. Longer than..." I had no idea what I was trying to express to Michonne. It was a fleeting thought or emotion.

"I have to find your pills." Michonne began to dig the thirty fifth hole but I snatched the shovel out of her hands and threw it out of reach.

"We are missing another meeting because of this but we won't miss any love making Michonne."

"You have to be completely out your mind, Rick."

"We are going to take a shower together."

"You just took a shower. I can smell soap on your skin."

"I will be happy to take another one. I would be happy to take how ever many to spend time with you. I know how you like me to be clean as possible. Well, I want you to be clean too. No way I am taking you to the meeting with the way you looking right now."

"You are full of shit, Rick." I followed her in the house. She was walking a head of me.

"How so Michonne?" I asked.

"If I came to you just like this. Dusty and all you would still have sex with me. Sweaty and as dusty as I am, you would."

Michonne made a very truthful assertion. I didn't disagree.

...

Rick was all I thought about when I was quiet, silently working on the dead. I worried about him constantly. Sybil took over when it became unbearable. Queenesha when it was time to eat cake or dealing with the living. I was eating a lot. My nerves were bad.

I worried Eugene until he finally found the time to get Rick off the Psych ward. I felt him there. Nothing worse than needing someone that is there, but is out of reach.

I made a promise to myself to be stronger if Rick was back. Sybil was sometimes stronger but I was strongest with him when I could feel his devotion. He needed me to be present and I needed to be present.

I watched the shovel fly through the air. He was demanding I stop. I wasn't going to fight him over it. My compulsions were getting the best of me at times.

I wasn't going to resist when he wanted to love me because I desperately needed to love him. I loved him. I love him.

He's always wanting to make love to me. It was like his obsession. Sex. Any variation of it was satisfying for both of us. _I_ replaced his pills. _He_ replaced mine. This was our shared addiction, each other. His behavior was crazy. Mine was too. We were erratic, but when we came together to fuck...Oh my God!

Incredible!


	8. Chapter 8

"Fuck me," I whispered, giving him permission, taking him into my flesh, a soft invitation to madness."  
― Emme Rollins, Dear Rockstar

...

I snapped. Like a rubber band. Here I was trying to hold everything together. Descent was not acceptable to him. Beautiful angel like me should be worshipped. Flagrant disrespect. I know I was suffering from some kind of superiority complex. I prayed on the weak, the confused, the disenchanted, the lust driven. My handy Lucille at my side...

"Why the fuck are you looking at Michonne?"

"What?"

"Stop looking at Michonne. There are other people here in this room. Look at them."

"Well, Well, what do we have here? Your name is Rick the man who killed his wife and her lover with one bullet. Colt? You still sticking to that story? I like liars. Lies will always keep you uncomfortable."

"I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about. Tell your story like everyone else. You have an audience and it consist of _more_ than _Michonne_. I am not stopping you from talking but I will stop you from staring at her."

"Didn't take long to sniff you out, Richard Sinclair Grimes...Michonne. You and Michonne? I heard you when you said you would rather spend eternity in hell with Michonne than two minutes in heaven without her."

"Tell _your_ story. _Please_ tell us more about Lucille. Please tell us more about how Lucille is thirsty. She is a vampire bat!"

"You are..."

"Going to fucking kill you if you keep looking at Michonne."

" _Try_ to kill me."

Behind my back they called me a son of a bitch, Satan, Lucifer...My story is driven by one's actions, thoughts, desires. As I was going to say my name is Negan. I was summoned to this little gathering. You all amaze me with constantly shifting your tales. Living on the outskirts of my little domain. Comparatively speaking...I would say this has been quite enjoyable to introduce myself even though there are _two_ in this circle that remain unflinching. Very enjoyable. Hot damn.

...

"Lunatic." Michonne walked slightly behind Rick. They were walking through the parking lot to the old beat up pickup truck.

"Dead man." Rick stated.

"I wanted to stab him, Rick. I wanted to stab him 35 times."

"Michonne that is only one extra than what you stabbed your husband." Rick turned to look at Michonne as they approached the vehicle that they arrived in together.

"The extra is for making me think of Mike. I don't go around thinking about Mike. Negan made me think of him. That same look that was on Mike's face when he would watch me gasp for air. That look in Mike's eyes were right there in Negan's."

"I don't know what I would have done Michonne if he kept his eye on you a moment longer as he told his story. I would have tried to kill him, I know."

"He doesn't seem like he fights fair Rick. He seems very calculating. Everything he said tonight at the meeting seemed very deceptive."

"I would have died trying. No one is allowed to look at you Michonne, longer than 0.5 seconds. Anything longer there's a problem. If I had my colt I would have blown his ass a way with out thinking twice."

"I am glad you didn't have your colt."

"So he lives another day."

"Here. Give me the keys so I can drive. You seem really agitated, Rick."

Michonne's mind was heavy with thought and minutes passed between the two before Michonne spoke up again.

"Did you say that?" Michonne asked Rick.

"Say what?" Rick brought his full attention from the passing landscape to Michonne.

"You would rather spend eternity in hell with me instead of two minutes in heaven without me?"

"I didn't say it to him. I have no idea how he knew I said it. I said that to Ms. Mabel in the kitchen at the Mortuary. I said that to her about my feelings for you. The walking dead couldn't keep me from your side Michonne."

...

I am not sure what was going on with Rick. I think he was losing his mind again. He had bouts of being in a full on hypnotic trance. Sometimes I would have to snap my fingers to bring his attention to me. He spent a great deal of time in his head and it was apparent he wasn't well.

I wasn't mad at him anymore. I _was_. I was _really_ , _really_ mad, before we had left to go to the meeting.

We were almost late, if I hadn't found one last pair of clean panties, we were going to be a no show. I had only one pair of panties that didn't match my pink bra and I had to put them on. Blue panties. I didn't match.

All my panties were missing. All of my worn panties. It pissed me off to find them in Rick's bedroom under his bed, under his pillow. In between his sheets. Panty thief.

"Rick! Why are all my panties in here! What the hell?"

"Michonne!" Rick watched me go into a rage of rearranging his room. "You will put my room back together. Throwing my sheets all over the place? My pillows? Pushing my bed?!" Rick stood by his dresser as he watched me. He didn't try to stop me. Three of my panties were under his frigging pillow.

"These are not clean Rick." I faced him. I watched his face. I gazed into his eyes for any semblance of sanity.

"Are we really doing this right now, Michonne?" He had his hands on his hips.

"I have my last pair of panties on. After this I will be clammando."

"No panties? I see no problem with that Michonne. I think I would prefer a panty-less Michonne."

"You are a panty thief. I will never look at you the same. I will never trust you."

"You left your panties here. I did not take them. I did not steal them."

"Have you been sniffing them?"

"You got a problem with that?"

"That time you did it in the motel was one thing..."

"What's any different now, Michonne?"

"You don't see the problem, Rick?"

"It's _your_ panties. No one elses. I really can't see what the problem is. If it is a problem than the solution would be, we fuck more and I would sniff _less_."

I wanted to jump his bones right then and there but I had to keep myself composed. We were in a staring down match. I loss that staring match that time. I had my small laundry basket with most of my underwear that I could locate. I didn't think to check his dresser or closet. I just knew when we got back from this meeting I was going to wear him out to the point he was going to admit being a panty thief.

I loaded the washer to do a quick cycle when I was jolted by a fleeting thought. A glimpse that startled me and I shook from the after affects.

"Stop it Rick." The air was light. The sun was out and the branches that held leaves shielded me from the brightly heated rays. The blanket beneath me was crumpling and my arms was being exposed to the prickling of the stiff grass underneath. Laughter. I was laughing. I was so happy. A happiness that's best experienced than described. I was in love. Crazy kind of love.

"You think a picnic just consist of eating sandwiches, drinking Starbucks ice coffee, complimentary of you," Rick was trying to maneuver himself on top of me. My eyes the color of the most fertile earth and his the most clearest sky, captured, absorbed, growing closer and yet not close enough. Never enough. "You are sadly mistaken, Michonne. Picnics consist of moments like this."

"People will see what you are doing. We _are_ in a public park." I didn't move his hand as it ventured in the waistband of my jeans tickling my skin between my _blue_ panties elastic band. His hands finding room to drift farther still, until it rested on the heated spot that began to moisten from the attention it was receiving from his knowledgeable finger tips. My hips moved upward against my will.

"Bold." I gasped. His touch was just right.

"Brazen." He responded with a half smile, his breathing was beginning to falter with mine.

"Forward." I challenged. I wanted so badly to be kissed by him but his lips hovered above my own.

"Familiar." Rick responded. His lips barely touching mine.

"Daring." I said.

"Michonne."

I gasped as one finger slipped inside of me. The words left me before I could reconsider them. There were no take backs. "I love you." I said almost breathless. Almost inaudible. Rick was silent for a moment. He was processing what I had said to him for the first time. For the first time my words reverberated back to me and even then it didn't capture the depth of what I was ready to endure for him. Only him.

This fragment disturbed me. I had to try to stay cognizant. A memory that seemed so clear, true and pure. Gone as quickly as it came. Out of no where it seemed. A version of me that seemed more real than the me of now. I was warmer then. I was more alive. Other fragments came and went after we left the meeting. I had no coping skills.

Sybil took over.

Next thing I know I am sitting on top of the roof with Rick holding his hand. We watched the full moon together that night.

...

There was a battle going on between me and Michonne. I don't know where this tension was coming from but it was hard to speak on it when we had so much to do. We were losing time. Sense of time wasn't like it used to be. The more apart we were, doing our job with the dead made us only more aware that time not together was almost excruciating.

"I wish y'all just simmer down. You and Michonne have been keeping up so much chaos, commotion and confusion. Why the hell you both can't rest, I have no earthly idea. Your souls aren't at peace. I thought Deanna would bring light on the situation but you two are too stubborn to take on the truth."

"If this is about the holes she put in the back, I said I will cover them up. I _will_ Ms. Mabel."

"You really think this is about the 34 holes she dug in the back? Do you really think that is why I am approaching you Richard?"

"Ms. Mabel we go to the meetings because you told us too. We go and we talk about it."

"The story you tell to the group is not true."

"What do you mean. What do you mean not true? How would you even know what we tell, you aren't there?"

"You really think that Michonne killed her husband? You really think you killed your friend and wife with one bullet?"

The words that Ms. Mabel spoke caused my temples to throb. The throbbing became almost unbearable. Intense.

"I will cover the holes. I will cover all thirty four holes. I will cover them."

"Thirty four times you met up with Michonne. Thirty four time you cheated on your wife. Thirty Four times you lied to your wife. Thirty four times Michonne helped you to betray your vows. Thirty five times she betrayed her husband. Thirty five times she lied to her husband and betrayed her vows."

"Why are you saying Thirty five? It was thirty four times."

"She waited for you the thirty fifth time. She waited."

...

"I thought I was never going to get away." I saw a happier version of me. The happiest I could ever imagine possible.

"I called like you told me and said there was an emergency at the station." Michonne had the most beautiful smile that held mischief and the most incomprehensible calming effect over me as she drove us to the outskirts of town. The sun was out. She radiated and left me in wonderment, how have I ever lived without her.

"I missed you Michonne." I grasped her hand as she drove. She squeezed mine back.

"You always miss me. I think I missed you more." The curve of her lip going from shy at her admittance to firm declaration of the depth of her emotions. The pining away. Need. My chest swell then and now.

That tiny fragment of a memory hit me like a wave. I was engulfed by the magnitude of it all. There was a time that warmth ran through my veins. Blood. Hot blood. All senses were wrapped in one event and within seconds it was gone.

I had my first cognizant break down.

Negan's voice was in my ear.

"Bet ya thought you were all going to grow old together, sitting around the table at Sunday dinner in the happily ever after. No... doesn't work like that Rick. Not anymore." Negan mocked as I stood on the roof of the first tiered peak of the Mortuary, ready to kill myself.

"Now, look a there?" Herschel pulled up in the back of the mortuary when he noticed me pacing on the roof. Tyrese and Eugene were holding a blanket and Michonne was egging me on to jump. Sybil was egging me on to jump, I should say. Fucking Sybil.

"Do it. Jump." Michonne paced below going in the opposite direction shouting for me to take my life. The height was high enough as I recall to cause minor injuries but certainly not death.

"I love Michonne. I love her. Nothing will keep me from her. I will follow Michonne in to the depths of hell. I will be with Michonne. I want no one else. No one. Just Michonne." I could see the lashing of tongues, the eyes of condemnation caste about me but I stood firm. I didn't waver in my conviction. If Michonne was sin, I stood convicted...guilty of indulgence and an unwillingness to repent. I am and will always be a repeat offender. More memories began to drown me.

Tyrese and Eugene held a blanket hoping to catch me if I did decide to jump. I didn't jump. I fought with the demons that terrorized my mind. finding no calm until Michonne climbed up and sat next to me.

I have no idea what made Sybil retreat into the darkness of Michonnes mind. Michonne's hand clasped in mine. We sat on the roof together that night. Together we stared at the full moon.

...

A/N: This story is one of my favorites. I enjoy writing this and hope those of you who enjoy this type of tale find it just as enjoyable even though it is jarring at times. It was supposed to be a short story for Halloween but I will try to squeeze a few more chapters out to flesh out the theme.

If you have given up on this story like the others, I hope if you are really bored you give this or the other's another try. Thanks for reading.


	9. Chapter 9

"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."  
― Edgar Allan Poe

...

Carol eased beside Rick. Finger foods were being offered along with beverages. Rick found it a very curious thing that the table with the offerings were being served at the meeting. It usually was coffee. Just coffee.

"Daryl's not here." Carol whispered.

Rick found it curious that Carol presented him with this information. He didn't know why he would care about Daryl. He only cared about one person. Michonne.

"She has been coming to every meeting now."

"Who?"

"Sasha."

Rick found it curious that Carol presented him with _this_ information. He didn't know why he would care about Sasha. He only cared about the woman who was watching him with a quizzical look. Her hands were on her hip. Michonne. He will be accused of flirting or desiring Carol when they got out of the meeting, he was prepared for the confrontation they would have in the pickup truck.

"That arrogant son of a bitch blocked Daryl's entrance. Some unsavory types threw Daryl into a van. I tried to tell Sasha but she isn't listening. She's not hearing me. You haven't noticed the vacant seat next to her? Sasha keeps telling the same story with no variation. I don't think she remembers. I think she is just a parrot. Have you noticed?" Carol was persistent.

"Can't say I have noticed...I missed two meetings in a row." Rick glanced at Carol to see if he could read her. He couldn't.

"I come here every time. You have. Michonne have. We come because they keep calling us to come." Carol handed Rick a small plate hoping that would prompt him to decide on ham, mayonnaise with cheese or peanut butter triangles.

Rick was sincerely confused on what Carol was telling him. He _had_ missed meetings. He knew that for certain. Missed meetings meant lovemaking. He remembered that. He knew that. Carol had to be crazy. The lady that meant to kill her dog when she meant to kill her husband _was_ nuts.

Michonne was becoming annoyed and found a seat that would have her across from Rick in the circle. She was pissed and the swell of _pissivity_ was increasing as she watched Rick interaction with Carol. She counted two peanut butter sandwiches that he placed on his small plate. The smell of peanut butter was overwhelming to her senses. She tried to fight the desire to become less lucid.

"Who's calling us?" Rick asked.

"Sofia calls for me. Andre calls for Michonne. Carl calls for you." Carol followed Rick to the seating.

Rick felt a jolt at the sound. A memory. Uncertainty. He was yet again on the brink.

...

"What's going on, Dad? Are you okay?" Carl face was full of concern.

"I don't have time for this Shit. I have somewhere to be." Rick paced back and forth in the open garage. "I want to fucking kill your mother sometimes. She fucking hid my damn keys. I have somewhere to be. I am going to be late. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Rick kicked the tires to his pickup truck.

"Where are you trying to go? Maybe I can help you get there." Carl offered his father who was in a controlled rage.

"Carl..." The offer caused Rick to pause, a solution he did not think to entertain. Carl had his own car and was visiting for the day. He was on break from school. He was only visiting for the day. It was the time he would leave to beat the night when heading back to his dorm in Atlanta.

"I have time, Dad. I can drop you off or wait for you."

"You need to get back to college. Your mother doesn't like you driving at night."

"This seems important to you. Let me help you."

Rick barely could grasp the magnitude of this revelation, " _Let me help you...Let me help you."_

 _..._

Carol was sitting next to him in the circle caressing the length of his arm from his shoulder, down to his wrist. Rick was barely holding on to his plate. The touch did not faze him. He was fully aware of not being completely present. He was in-between states and the unknown caused fear. The tiny sandwiches became even more unappetizing. Peanut butter.'

The smell of peanut butter caused Michonne's mind to cloud and then. Fog began breaking a way. A door amongst many doors along a wall. She stood in front of one. She opened. She stood in a room and found bits and pieces of clarity swirling about her eyes, within her mind. Fragments. So many fragments. Insanity cloaked in brief glimpses of sanity.

Michonne felt the jolt. This wasn't an introduction nor a re-introduction. This was a revelation that made absolutely no sense. A big memory caused her to tremble. The magnitude caused her to shudder in such a way that she knew for sure in the end she would lose all consciousness. "Rick."

...

"Please let me get a signal. Please. Oh God please let me get a signal." Michonne sat in her car inside of a parking garage. She was unable to call Rick to cancel their rendezvous. Her phone would not send the message that she typed telling Rick that her husband had followed her there. She had no way of contacting him as she eyed her husband who thought he was being inconspicuous on the other side of the garage.

Michonne began to reverse her vehicle out of the spot when her white Mercedes was rammed in on the passenger side by another vehicle. BAM. Michonne pulled forward and put her car back in park once the car that hit her reversed. The other car was intent on ramming her again. "What the hell?" It was Lori.

...

This moment they were experiencing in tandem, Rick and Michonne. Michonne and Rick.

...

Lori shot Michonne dead right there in the parking garage. She stood over her body, reloaded and shot some more. Close range. Rick didn't wait, he jumped from the slowly moving car that Carl was driving and ran to where Michonne lie in a pool of her own blood.

"What the hell, Lori?" Shane exited the vehicle, the enormity of the situation wasn't lost on him.

Lori without thought, turned and shot Shane. The bullet pierced his skull and ricochet and lodged in Mike's throat who had covered the distance from his parked vehicle to come to Michonne's aid. He was struck down by chance not by a specific aim.

Lori reloaded. She was slightly startled to see her son standing not to far away, standing outside of his car with Rick rushing up frantic.

"Michonne. Michonne. Michonne." Rick fell to his knees in the pool of blood, his blue jeans became the color of deep, dark hues of red, the blood soaked his clothing as he began to scoop her in his arms. He didn't notice that Michonne's body was riddled with bullets. He wasn't aware that a bullet went through his temple and that Lori had the gun under her very own chin.

He was at the bottom of a grave. The dreadlock lunatic knocked him in the freshly dug resting spot for calling her a beast of the southern wild.

"I don't know who the fuck you are, but don't fuck with me." Michonne threatened outside the mortuary where the living took place.

"Are you fucking crazy? Pushing me in a Goddamn hole? I could have been injured." Rick stood up not bothering dusting himself off as he squared off with the woman standing above him who was intent on glaring down at him.

"That was the plan, you dirty ass redneck mutherfucker!" Michonne kicked dirt into the hole and Rick closed his eyes in time. He inhaled the sulfur of the earth as it dusted and perfumed around him.

"Help me the fuck out of here." Rick demanded.

"No. This Medusa ain't helping you with shit. You pale face bastard."

"When I get out of here I am going to fucking bury your crazy black ass alive. I promise you, whatever the fuck your name is."

"My name is Michonne, you simple ass bastard."

"My name is Rick, you crazy ass psycho bit-."

Michonne took a shovel and hit him squarely on the side of the head with enough force to knock him out.

...

A/N:

Still reshaping this chapter. Bare with me. Trying to provide ass much clarity as possible on what's going on with less words. LOL


	10. Chapter 10

"I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything.  
Maybe we're from the same star."  
― Emery Allen

...

Negan was surprised to glance at his extravagant gate as it creaked open with out his verbal ok to do so. His gate keeper was confused whether or not to bow at who was intruding on his master.

Pastor Gabriel glanced at who occupied a throne made of liquid gold.

 **"Hooooly crap! You are creepy as sh*t, sneaking up on me, wearin' that collar with that freaky-ass smile."**

Pastor Gabrielle quickly spread out a white rug over the threshold, without a word or response he stepped aside.

"Enough, Abaddon!" Mabel walked into the middle of the circle where Negan stood on the outer realm watching with amusement no longer adding his seasoning to the stew. Mabel dismissed all that were present. The séance that was going on in the earthly realm experienced a severe disturbance that caused Deanna's chair to flip her out and against the wall. The table shook. Carl, Andre, and Sophia stood and rushed over to Deanna who's last word before losing consciousness, "Grace is at the gates of hell."

"Lebam. Mabel, who in _hell_ summoned you? Certainly no one _above_ knows you have your hands in _this_ pot. Didn't know my insignificant recipe would or could entice you-" Negan wore the most wicked smile that was similar to a grimace.

"Enough Abaddon! I am the author of Peace even through your chaos. My reach goes even in your domain when _it_ is found. I speak again my command to you, _Actum. Satis_. Enough."

Negan smile did not falter as his eyebrow arched at this new, most interesting dynamic. Mabel in his yard trying to assert authority. Limited though it may be. Authority nonetheless.

"Ego sum a diabolo." Negan switched from the language he spoke to Latin and English, creating confusion, " _Here,_ Ego sum, ego sum diaboli mors. _Here."_

"I am, _I_. Enough. Off your knees, Richard. Michonne is not here. Open your eyes and live." Mabel commanded. "Help him up Gabriel."

"No!" Negan spoke, but it didn't stop father Gabriel. "I want to understand this. I want to understand how does _he_ keep asking for _her_. Why does he ask for her and not his life? Not call, God. Just Michonne. He lives for her. I want to understand it. I took her out the loop and he still senses her. Who is she. Who is this Michonne who won't tell me who she is even when I tell her who I am? She surely goes by another name?"

"Michonne represents something that can't be contained even here. This _man_ finds peace even here in hell with her. Still _they_ found it. Peace is that very simple authority that gives temporary shield to assert myself in front of you right here and now. If Michonne knew her authority she could have you kneeling."

"Is that so?" Negan's interest was heightened by this reveal as he tried to gauge what hierarchy Michonne reigned and why she was possibly caste out of heaven to entice one man to follow her even in the darkness with no promise of the light. What fuckery was this? What was the father up to? Even with Mabel at his door and the untrusting Father Gabriel assisting, Negan watched as his minions faltered whether or not to bow a their presence. With a smile Negan stepped back in to the darkness his claws scratching at the limitations being placed on Rick's mind regarding the events that just happened. New events will bring Rick and Michonne back to him. Rick will call him and recognize him as the true Savior and Michonne will follow.

...

 _Father tell me, we get what we deserve_  
 _Oh we get what we deserve_

 _And way down we go_  
 _Way down we go_  
 _Say way down we go_  
 _Way down we go_

 _You let your feet run wild_  
 _Time has come as we all oh, go down_  
 _Yeah but for the fall oh, my_  
 _Do you dare to look him right in the eyes?_

 _'Cause they will run you down, down til the dark_  
 _Yes and they will run you down, down til you fall_  
 _And they will run you down, down til you go_  
 _Yeah so you can't crawl no more_

 _Kaleo_

 _..._

"Wake up Rick."

"What? What?"

Daryl laughed a hearty laugh.

"What the fuck you give me? Shit." Rick found himself in Daryl's Ford Mustang.

"Courtesy of Meryl. Major head trip. You were high as shit."

"Fuck. I can't be doing shit like this, like that. I have random drug testing."

"You have been suspended indefinitely you fool." Daryl laughed.

"What?" Every memory came flooding back to Rick. He fought Shane over Lori. Lori was having an affair with his best friend. Rick considered it an affair even though they were separated for six months when the shit started between Shane and Lori.

An unhappy Lori was going to be the death of him.

Rick couldn't figure Lori out. Why she didn't want to be with him anymore and then she changes her mind and want to be with him for a few hours, not realizing at the time her and Shane had a disagreement. It was already effecting his career in the sheriffs office. Herschel warned him to get a grip. To get a grip or he could never come back to the department in any capacity. He was losing his wife and no matter how he fought or who he fought it was a losing battle. Accepting the demise of his marriage was something he couldn't bare.

The sun was beaming through the windshield. Rick pulled the lever to sit up straight in the passenger seat. Eighty, Ninety miles an hour. The road to no where in particular was being burned by rubber.

Daryl turned the music down farther, "You going to be okay over there?" Speed ninety, climbing a hundred miles an hour, more. Faster.

"Where we going?" Rick asked.

"You really don't remember shit? Glad to get you while you were high. Any other time you would be locked up in the bedroom. Time you got air on your skin. Sun helps with depression. You got to get out and live. You are alive. You ain't dead. Til the casket drop, you haven't hit rock bottom."

"What?" The words resonated with him and he did not know why. He felt something that he couldn't put words to and it didn't make sense. He _had_ to still be experiencing the after effects of whatever drug that was laced in the marijuana he smoke the night before.

"Something my Pops would say to my mama Pattibelle. He use to say a lot of other shit that kept her either mad or in tears."

...

"What the hell, Sasha?"

"Oh. My. God!" Sasha exclaimed just as frantic as Michonne.

"All our shit?"

"Asshole!" Sasha kicked up the gravel as she watched the disappearing car.

Michonne and Sasha stood there as Tyrese, a virtual stranger drove off with their duffle bags in the back seat along with Michonne's purse and phone.

"Is he coming back, Sasha?" Michonne was desperate for answers to this un-factored dilemma.

"I don't know..." Sasha answered honestly.

"What do you mean you don't know? Does your boyfriend have the propensity to just leave and not come back? Will he come back?"

"He ain't my boyfriend. He is a guy I met on Tindr. We've been talking for a while but he is not my boyfriend."

Michonne was at a loss for words. She couldn't believe that she allowed herself to be in another situation with Sasha. Michonne couldn't fathom which was worst, almost drowning fooling with Sasha in Atlantic City or being stranded with no financial means because of fooling around with Sasha.

The goal was to get out of a very poor tiny town called Millen with a population of less than 3500 to King's County where the population was 40,000 and then eventually get to Atlanta. That was the plan. Stranded at a gas station in a town with just 50 people wasn't factored.

...

Daryl slipped on a faded t-shirt with the emblem ' _Born in America'_ and a very worn pair of Levi jeans. He tapped on the door of his officially separated friend, Rick Grimes.

Rick had been suspended from the sheriffs office for fighting his co-worker who was also his best friend Shane. The rumors about Rick's wife and the baby she was carrying was almost too much for Rick. Daryl took him in, where they shared a three bedroom trailer. Daryl kept a good supply of beer and privacy as he allowed Rick to wallow in his own sorrows.

Daryl spent long hours working in the repair shop and when he did come home he was either texting until he fell asleep then he would wake up repeat the routine, the idea of Rick being there was a welcome change to the monotony of life.

"Open." Rick yelled from the other side of the closed door. He was finding it difficult to stay lucid. He was losing grip on a reality and his chest heaved as he felt a great loss, equivalent to losing a loved one.

"Hey man. I was wondering if you wanted to go for a little ride with me. Get some fresh air."

"I don't feel like riding my bike." Rick was an owner of an old Harley Davidson and a beat up pickup truck.

"Ain't talking about that type of riding out. I got the Mustang fixed. Wanted to know if you wanted to go with me to take it out on the road. I was going to go close to Millen and back."

"That is a hundred and some miles from here."

"I know." Daryl admitted. When he didn't get a response he asked, "Why you looking like that? You still buzzed off that shit I gave you last night?" Daryl was trying to not appear anxious but he was failing at his attempt to want to hurry the show on the road. He was on a time line. He had somewhere to be and he didn't want to go it alone.

"Did something happen? Was something in that stuff we smoked?"

"You still high." Daryl laughed. "You coming with me or not?"

"Nah. I'm not."

"So you plan to sit in this room for another three weeks straight? People out living. Lori ain't stopped."

Daryl was trying to get Rick riled up to move. He knew the mention of Lori would do just that but it also could backfire and keep him firmly planted in the room. Daryl took his chance.

Rick agreed to ride with Daryl. By the time they made it to the highway, Rick was passed out in the passenger seat as he drove.

...

"I have someone that is coming to get us. He will be here in 30 minutes or less." Sasha found a solution to their situation.

"Who?" Michonne asked.

"My real boyfriend." Sasha declared.

"How is this person any different than the one that just fucking left us?"

"I need him. If he comes when I need him-he's my boyfriend."

"How old are you Sasha?"

"Younger than you by two years. What's your excuse?"

Michonne rolled her eyes. The gas station door creaked open and the owner who had to be ninety years old came out and offered them both a soda, a treat on him since they were waiting a couple of hours for transportation that according to Sasha would be arriving soon.

The time was of no importance to Michonne. Sasha was her only relative. Only living relative. They only had each other and it has always been that way since she could remember. Cousins, even though they act like sisters, separating was not an option.

"Is this your transportation pulling up?" The store owner who talked non stop about the late 1930s and how life was very simple in the 1940s, asked.

Sasha stood from the old rocking chair and Michonne watched the smile grow and the look of uncertainty replaced with happiness on her cousin's face.

Michonne sat puzzled. Unmoving. An old Ford Mustang with two white men in the front. Their faces were unrecognizable because Michonne personally did not, would not know any man or men that look like them. In her mind they could be rapist or serial killers. Sasha was different. She never met a stranger.

Michonne heart raced, "You know them, Sasha?"

"I know the driver. He looks just like his pictures he has on Tindr." Sasha walked over to the driver side of the Mustang and the guy got out. Sasha was shyly smiling and so was he. Michonne couldn't move. Wouldn't move.

Blue eyes locked with hers. The stranger took her in and kept her hostage with his eyes. He stood there frozen. Michonne was frozen in place as she stood from the rocker. She couldn't look away as he stood outside the car facing her like he was. Time stood still. Her heart stopped for a moment and then began to race and pound in her chest. She couldn't breathe nor look away from this man who wouldn't look away. He wouldn't look away.

The store owner asked, "You okay dear?"

Michonne responded honestly, "No."

A/N:

Yeah, this story is crazy as all hell.

Ego sum, ego sum diaboli mors= I am God, I am the Devil, I am death. (If anyone knows for sure and cringe at this, my apologies to the scholars) I will make corrections if anyone happens to know for sure. I took latin years and years ago.

Actum =Done

satis= enough


	11. Chapter 11

"His eyes are so intense I want to look away . . . or never look away, I can't decide."  
― Kasie West, The Distance Between Us

...

Conversation had it's lulls and the country music with 80s Rock filled the spaces. The Mustang, with it's newer tires gripped the road as if it was right off the assembly line. Daryl was impressed with himself and his abilities for restoring older model automobiles.

"I would let Lori go." Daryl seemed to say out of the blue. The opinion was without any ambiguity. It was clearly understood. The frankness startled Rick.

"Harder than what you think."

"It ain't that hard. Holding on to someone that ain't trying to hold on to you? I don't see how it is hard. Tiring. Hard? Nah."

"You ever been in love Daryl?"

"You think because I ain't been with someone since High school, I can't speak on it?"

"This is different."

Daryl had no other words as he eyed Rick on the passenger side. The road sign stated that Hendersonville was another 25 miles. The excitement was stirring in the pit of his stomach. He will finally get to meet Sasha Benton.

"Why are we riding out this far again? Engine sounds good." Rick rolled his window up half way.

Daryl thought this was a good a time as any to come clean.

"I met someone."

"Yeah?"

"Yep."

"She lives this far out?"

"Naw. Something happened with her transportation. I didn't want to come alone."

"You needed a third wheel?"

"Yep."

"This far?"

"Yep."

"How did you meet someone this far out of the way from King's County?"

"Tindr."

"What?"

"You wouldn't know anything about it. You've been married during the social media revolution just about."

"We ain't that far off in age, Daryl."

"No we ain't but I ain't never been married either."

"You ain't ever dated anyone you mean."

"Ain't true. I've dated a couple of people you and Shane don't know shit about it."

"Carol?"

"Carol ain't my type. She is a friend. Always will be. She is more like a mother or sister to me. She ain't my type."

"What about Beth?"

"Too young. She ain't my type either."

"Denise?"

"She is lesbian. Been creeping with Tara in the automotive shop for some time now."

"Yeah?"

"Yep."

"I would have never guessed." Rick marveled at his inability to spot a lesbian as if they were leopards unable to conceal their spots.

"I got you tagging along just in case she don't look like her picture. I can just drive the fuck off."

"If you would have told me this upfront I-"

"That's why I didn't tell you shit. She's African American just so you know. I don't want you making things awkward."

"Black?"

"Just so you know."

"Black?"

"That's my type."

"Since when?"

"Always. You're the only one that know for certain that I ain't gay."

Rick was really surprised by this information. He would have most likely believed Daryl _was_ a closeted gay man.

"Black women?" Rick asked as if it couldn't become any clearer. Rick had nothing against interracial dating. It wasn't something he entertained because he has always loved Lori. There was a time he had a slight crush on a Jessie Anderson but it was just that, a crush that he out grew. He had no experience outside of Lori and now that he was about to be divorced he still couldn't bring himself to think about another woman regardless of race.

"I like everything about them. I like their feisty nature. They all ain't feisty. Sasha, she ain't real feisty. She's more laid back."

"Black women are feisty?" Rick wondered if that was code for attitude.

"They smell different. The feel is different."

"You ever been with your own kind?"

"No."

"Then, how can you compare?"

"You been with anyone other than Lori?"

Rick didn't respond. Daryl knew the answer. Most of King's county knew the answer. No. He was stuck on Lori.

"Suzanne was my first." Daryl admitted.

"I thought Shane was lying, spreading rumor..."

"I would sneak over to her house. Climb through her bedroom window when her Mama was out working third shift."

"Suzanne who wrote that crazy story?" Rick would never forget the very sexual story that was read in front of the college prep class in front of the substitute teacher that day so many years ago.

"The Fog Above The Trees."

"You remember the title?" Rick was shocked.

"You remembered the story. What's wrong with knowing the title." Daryl eyed Rick for a split second putting his attention back on the road.

"She was your first?" Rick asked.

"Yep."

"Where she at?"

"New York. Married. 2 kids. I reached out to her a couple of years ago on Facebook. She's happy. She ain't looking backwards."

"Facebook."

"Social media revolution."

...

"This is our chance Michonne." Sasha declared.

"They look like Serial killers, Sasha." Michonne insisted as they stood a few feet from Daryl and Rick.

"The store owner knows his friend. Did you just missed that interaction? They still talking over there." Sasha nodded towards where Daryl and _his_ friend were standing in the store entryway talking to the store owner.

"This has the makings of a scary movie." Michonne embraced herself even tighter.

"His name is Daryl Dixon. I have been talking to him online for the last 3 months. He seems to be a nice guy and he has his own place. We need a place to stay. He's offered. He's willing. He drove lots of miles to come."

"Who the hell were we in the car with? Who was the fool that left us stranded here? What if we get stranded again-"

"You keep your damn mouth shut we won't. Any questions, let me answer. You have a smart mouth Michonne."

Daryl walked back over to where Sasha and her cousin stood. He was surprised how the cousin seemed so un-friendly compared to Sasha. The cousin appeared to be a mute. He wasn't deterred by being sized up by the woman with dreads. If looks could kill he supposed he would be dead if it wasn't for Sasha giving him life. Sasha's beauty was almost too painful to be in the presence of. He was happy that she was actually more beautiful in person. Daryl was relieved that he wasn't cat fished.

...

There was this sense of something but I can't put it in to words. When I laid eyes on her. I don't know why I noticed her ass in those jeans and her breast confined by the vest she wore. She kept staring right back at me and I didn't like it one fucking bit. That scowl was disconcerting and I tried to convey to her a look that I wasn't the one to fuck with if she and her friend were scheming to kill Daryl and I at some point in this impromptu road trip. I wished I had my badge to have her think twice. If only I had my colt.

...

There was this sense of something that I couldn't put into words. When I laid eyes on him. He had a bowlegged gait. He kept staring at me even when he was suppose to be talking to the store owner. I had my mean _don't_ _fuck_ _with_ _me_ face on and he wasn't deterred by it. He had to be a killer. It was in his eyes. I would bet that him and his friend were scheming to rape Sasha and I somewhere between here or miles down the road. I wish I had my duffle bag where my Taser was, lying under my folded blue panties. My knife was in my purse. I wish I had my blade.


	12. Chapter 12

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you."  
― Rita Mae Brown

...

Sasha noticed our duffel bags on the side of the road. Her sight was equivalent to hawks. This was the side of Sasha I was most grateful for in that moment. I had my Taser. I had my blade. Nothing was missing. Tyrese will live another day without facing any repercussions for leaving us behind at the gas station. I could rest my imagination on how many ways this man named Rick was going to dismember me and Sasha. I was prepared to give him the fucking fight of his life now that I had my weapons. A police issued Taser was the fucking business.

He kept staring at me and looking away, trying to play it off that he wasn't staring. I was finally glad he found his phone more interesting. He was texting back and forth with someone. What ever he was talking about he was intent on doing it with his index finger one tap at a time.

I watched Sasha play handsy with Daryl upfront. They weren't trying to be inconspicuous about it. Finger intertwined. I realized that I would have to fight not only for my life but foolish Sasha's as well.

"You have a spider crawling on you." Rick reached towards me. I couldn't control my reaction as I swatted his hand away.

"Don't you dare touch me."

"I thought it was your hair at first, part of your hair. You actually have a spider crawling on you."

I calmly asked, "Where?"

That time I allowed him to reach, pulling my hair above my neck.

"See." Rick revealed the tiny black spider.

"I am surprised you didn't scream like shit." Daryl smiled looking at me through his rearview mirror."

"It takes more than an insect to frighten my Cousin." Sasha chimed happily.

Rick slammed his hand down on his lap and rubbed the remnant into his jeans. His hands appeared familiar to me.

I realized I didn't say, _thank you._ I wasn't going too. Thank you and for him to try killing me in any minute? No. My guard was up and there it remained.

XXX

I have no idea who this strange woman was that I was sitting next to in the backseat of the Mustang. I had no clue to what her name was or if her name was actually _Cousin._ Sasha consistently kept referring to her as such. _Cousin, do you want, Cousin do you remember when, Cousin_...

Daryl didn't care that Sasha changed the music. No one was allowed to touch the radio when riding with Daryl and somehow, Sasha had unspoken permission.

I had to admit that Sasha was attractive. She was attractive even though her hair was wild. I had to try and not watch her tame it into a big bun. She was talkative and her Daryl had their own conversation in the front from time to time. A few times they included us in the back seat. When they didn't it was like being immersed in a thick uncomfortable silence.

Something about how her skin contrasted against my hand as I removed the spider from her shoulder. She allowed me to expose her neck and it almost took my breath away. The waft of her scent was familiar but nameless. It wasn't unpleasant. A brief momentary longing stirred within me and was instantly forgotten when I rubbed the spider into my worn jeans.

I had to remain focus on finding out names. First and last of both these women. A background check could happen in a matter of seconds. All I had to do was call up Glenn who worked behind a desk in the Sheriffs department. He owed me a favor. I couldn't figure out how to broach the subject or ask, _really who the fuck are you two?_ Daryl didn't seem to care and I had no capacity of the law to insist that they reveal their identity.

I received a text.

 **Lori:** Come and get your stuff. If you don't I will have it set out to the trash. Trash day is today.

 **Rick:** Do not throw my stuff a...

 **Lori:** You obviously don't want it because it's been sitting on my porch for the last three weeks and some by the front door.

 **Rick:** ...away. Lori why are you doing th...

 **Lori:** I called and you aren't answering your phone.

 **Rick:**...this. Wait.

I couldn't keep up. Lori was lightening fast with texting and I couldn't relay quickly what I wanted relayed. I wanted my marriage. I wanted Lori.

"Daryl."

"Yea?" Daryl peered at me through the rearview mirror.

"Before we get to your place do you think you could run by Lori's."

"What the fuck for?"

"Please."

We were a few minutes away from the house that Lori lived with Shane. It use to be a house that we shared together. It use to be our home. Everything appeared to be the way I left it so many months ago, even the old black woman who stood on her porch. Always watching. I called her nosy Mabel. Early morning and late into the night, nosey Mabel was out either standing by the stairs of her porch or sitting in her rocker. Not once has she ever waved.

I wasn't prepared for what was about to happen and I didn't think things through. It did appear that I was on a date I suppose to Lori, seeing the woman in the back seat. It did appear that I was flaunting a relationship at least in Lori's mind.

I walked up the walkway where Lori stood. I was beginning to be very emotional, desperate for a reconciliation. The need for Lori hadn't dampened even with her being involved with Shane. She was _my_ wife. That had to mean something.

She appeared differently to me. Her face had her own scowl aimed at Daryl's car. The passenger side front and back was revealed to her. The women were in her view.

"Who's in the car with you and Daryl." Lori stood on the porch.

"Some woman Daryl met on the internet and her cousin." I responded.

"Random women?" Lori questioned.

"Yeah." I stated plainly.

"You're on a date Rick?"

"What?" Dating anyone never crossed my mind.

"One thing I never did was parade around my boyfriends."

"Parade?"

Lori was angry and jealous. I didn't want her to be angry and I didn't have the time to relish in the fact that she could possibly relate to what I was feeling when she began dating other people.

She started throwing my shit from the house on to the lawn. I wasn't aware that Shane had pulled up and rushed over thinking what ever he was thinking. I just knew I was going to black out. I was going to fight Shane. I was going to kill him for helping destroy any semblance of getting back together with my wife. I was going to kill him and then _she_ smiled. I caught it from the corner of my eye. _Her_ face pressed against the car window. _She_ was amused. The nameless mean looking woman in the back seat was smiling.

The impact of Shane's fist on my jaw caused me re-evaluate a whole lot of what was important and kicking his ass was on the top of my list.

...

Daryl sat there debating whether to help or to let them duke it out. It was funny at first to see the wife tossing his shit all over the lawn. Things escalated quickly. A clean shaven dark haired man came out of nowhere it seemed. This was a major confrontation. I realized quickly that Rick was going to be on the losing end.

"Don't you think you should help, Daryl?" Sasha asked the man that was apparently in turmoil on what to do or not do and the repercussions of both.

"They both are the law. I can't get my hands dirty because if I help Rick, then Shane could have me easily arrested and I ain't about to do another bid. I am on fucking probation. Shit!"

"Really?!" I couldn't believe my ears. I wasn't surprised but to have my suspicion confirmed that Sasha would be messing around with some type of criminal and then to see what was transpiring outside the car. I got out.

I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I knocked Shane out. I picked up a rock and with enough force he was sprawled on top of Rick who was gasping for air. That was when I felt the rip in my jeans. It burned after the sound of Pow. I was grazed. There was heat that passed by my ear. Pow. Then it was click, click. The gun Lori was holding jammed.

...

I pushed Shane off of me and sat up. I saw Mabel across the street sitting on her porch watching and waving. Nosy Mabel was waving when the Pow. Pow. Click, Click, and then silence from Lori's direction.

I had every reason to want to murder Shane but Lori wanted to kill this nameless woman who meant nothing to me?

...

"Mabel, Mabel, Mabel! Why are you interfering?" Herschel rolled down his window as he pulled up to the curb of Mabel's home that was positioned across the street from the disturbance.

"If Lori kills Michonne now, we will never resolve this level and would be on repeat. I am tired, Herschel. I am tired. They need to move on and they can't do it if they don't recognize why they are here, will be here. I don't want to spend my eternity on the porch watching. This needs to be moved on."

"So you interfere because you don't want to be on the porch and yet you have me as the Sheriff? You get to rest Mabel. I have to actively be ready to callback any reinforcement and do this, like I am doing now. I am not supposed to be in a cruiser going to house calls as the Sheriff, that is what the deputy sheriffs are for they are to do house calls."

Mabel walked into her house and Herschel turned the cruiser in to the driveway of Lori's home and parked along side Daryl's car.

There lay Shane sprawled out on the grass. Herschel took one look and surmised he was not dead. He could hear the man's heart beat within the distance he stood.

"Herschel, I can explain-" Rick began and then Herschel cut him off.

"No, you can not. Get you and your injured companion on out of here because Lori is coming to the door with a shotgun 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

...

"Cousin, you going to be okay?" Sasha was concerned about Michonne being grazed by a bullet.

"It hurts." Michonne gasped as she hobbled along to the worn outdated sofa where an even more outdated television sat on a plastic crate.

"Let me take a look." Rick offered his assistance.

"Don't you touch me. What part of that you don't get?" Michonne challenged.

Rick stepped back when she flinched as if his touch burned her somehow.

"He's only trying to help." Daryl snapped.

"Maybe we should have taken my cousin to the hospital."

"I don't want to go to any hospital Sasha. I just need some antiseptic and bandages. Does a place like this have any?" Michonne looked about her surroundings. Not much better than the circumstances that they left in Millen. This wasn't as clean but it wasn't the dirtiest environment that Michonne had to tolerate in hopes of a better arrangement. A better life.

"I got what you need. I guess you will tend to yourself. The extra bedroom is there. The restroom is over there. You can shower. I have clean towels." Michonne took the items from Daryl without a _thank you,_ grabbed her duffle bags and headed to the bathroom closing the door behind her.

"You got anything to eat here?" Sasha asked. "I can cook something up for all of us." She walked over to the refrigerator and found nothing but spoiled milk and lots of beer. Nothing in the cabinets but unused pots and pans. "Do you two eat?" Sasha turned to find a red-faced Daryl.

Daryl was embarrassed that he didn't consider food. "There is a store around the corner we can go and pick some things up from there." Daryl offered with his attention on Rick. Rick gave him a look that he wasn't going to leave either of the women alone in the home he shared with Daryl so they could be robbed blind. Not that Daryl had much but he did keep 500.00 dollars under his mattress. "I mean, you and me Sasha. We can go to the store."

Rick moved the boxes with the items that belonged to him that Lori had tossed about the yard into his room. He unpacked a few things when he heard the creak of the bathroom door that use to indicate Daryl entering or exiting, now it meant that Cousin could be moving about.

The bathroom door was partially opened. He could see that she was tending to the wound on her upper thigh area and the pain caused her to wince. Rick noticed how her thighs glistened and how they were visually appealing to him. She was in yoga shorts and a tank top, a severe contrast to her jeans and sleeveless vest that she wore earlier in the day. He noticed she made quick work in bandaging herself without assistance.

Rick was standing in the kitchen with a beer in hand taking a long gulp when he heard her voice behind him. He was startled to have her actually talk to him.

"More of that?"

Her eyes were on the beer in his hand. "Yeah. Plenty." Then there was the silence. Rick didn't know what to do with it so he offered to give her one out of the refrigerator but she took his instead. "I was going to get you your own out the frig."

Michonne gulped down the remainder finding the taste not bad. "What kind of beer is this? This taste good." She looked at the bottle that she didn't recognize as she read aloud the label:

 _Meryl's Fine Brew_

 _Shit SO Good_

 _100% Guaranteed to keep you shitfaced or your money back._

...

We had three bottles each and we were shitfaced. I have no memory of anything else other than I liked the way she said my name, _Rick_ or did she just call me a _Dick_ and storm out the room? I was going to show her a dick alright...

...

I had a heightened sense of paranoia. Sasha was outside the trailer still talking to Daryl, giggling at whatever she found to be funny. I fell back to sleep. A very deep sleep and then I began to dream or it felt like I was dreaming.

Eyes. Eyes everywhere looking at me. I was valued and devalued. The only familiar ones were a set of frantic blues on his knees begging and a voice insisting, _Your loss is Mr. Nee Gain. Your loss is Mr. Nee Gain. Your loss is Mr. Negan's._

I was frantic as I sat up screaming, trying to catch my breath. I had no idea where I was and why there was a naked white man at the foot of my bed. I grabbed the Taser next to me and I tasered him good. I was going to pull the trigger again when Sasha and Daryl entered the room.

"Oh my fucking God! What the hell you do to Rick?" Daryl was surprised to find his friend sprawled naked on the floor in the room while I was standing fully clothed on the bed ready to give him another five seconds.

"Michonne, what the _hell_?" Sasha looked from Rick to me.

...

Rick was unconscious not because he was shocked into being immobile for 5 seconds but because he had then officially blacked out.


	13. Chapter 13

_"We thought everything would be_  
 _forgotten, but I still remember your_  
 _claws running down my back._

 _I wonder if you still think about us,_  
 _the way I do._

 _How our legs would crash_  
 _into each other in the middle_  
 _of the night, and how we ended_  
 _up creating the moon in the_  
 _confines of our beds."_  
 _― Zaeema J. Hussain, The Sky Is Purple_

...

Sasha's _Cousins'_ back was to me as she stood in the kitchen the next day. I could hear the loud laughter from Sasha who was outside no doubt with Daryl. I wondered if they ever came in last night. I needed a cup of coffee in the worst way or another bottle of beer. Just her back to me as she stood washing dishes caused a rush of memories that were so vivid I knew I had to be hallucinating. I had to be.

"You go see Ms. Lori?"

"Why you ask me somethin like that. I thought we were done with that. We not done with that?"

"You said you'd be back and ten days more passed from the time you said you would be back. I actually count more than ten. More like 13days."

"Chonnie, I just got in here thinkin I was goin to get a better greetin than the one I'm gettin."

"No greetin here Mistah. My name Michonne to you. Not Chonne and not Chonnie."

"Turn yourself and look at me. You know I don't like talking to the back of you. I couldn't get here fast enough. Smell your cooking soon as the horse rested across the river. I couldn't get here fast enough I tell you Chonnie."

"I could be taken from here quick like. Sold when I am free. I stay here because of you. When you are gone I don't have you to protect me like you had promised you would. Your Daddy Grimes is sick and he got no strength to protect us all. _Your_ Lord knows Ms. Ella is on God's own Medicine...I reckon we be holding on to our own predetermined fate if you didn't come back Rick."

"Turn yourself from that pot and look at me Chonnie. I didn't go see Miss Lori. I didn't. I did what you told me to do. I got the children to my sister Carol in Louisiana. They're safe. They've been askin and cryin after you. I'm not sure how much longer we can hold out before Mr. Negan from the bank come a knocking but I spent practically everything I had to have my sister Carol get the free papers forged for you and the kids. Daddy Grimes would likely keel over than free anyone. One thing I am not going to do is force anyone to follow me, us to Louisiana. If they want to be sold with the bank, they will be sold."

"I don't understand how I need papers if I am already free Rick. I don't understand."

"The kids are safe, Michonne." I couldn't bring myself after all the years to explain how I underhandedly maneuvered to have Michonne belong to me in more ways than she was ever aware.

There I stood holding wildflowers when she turned surprised. A look of relief flitted from her face and then a slow broad smile. I wasn't sure if it was at the flowers I held, the safety of the children, or just me. It always gave me an impression that it included everything. Everything.

"Nothing changed Chonnie. I still love you. Only you."

...

"My name ain't Chonnie or Chonne. My name is MICHONNE. Do I need to Taser your ass again? I got it right here just so you know, Buster! Keep standing there staring at me if you want with those tears running down your face. You step any closer to me I will shock you to back the FUCK up."

I blinked and I was in the kitchen with Cousin. Cousin has now informed me her name _is_ Michonne and she has the Taser in her hand aimed at me. I had the distinct sensation that I was tased by this BIT-

Zap.

I was on the kitchen floor on one knee. She was trying to bring me down but the Taser malfunctioned the very same second the rods were deployed.

...

I really have no idea what the fuck was his problem. I wish I had somewhere else I could go but I am stuck here for the meantime. I had the worse headache and I kept having feelings of Deja Vu when I know damn well I didn't know him from any other man in a _who's pink dick is this Police line up_. I had to drink more of the Meryl Fresh Brew for my mind to calm.

I really need to cuss Sasha out. One good cussing, I thought to myself as I finished the dishes. Four plates and I don't remember eating anything...Just drinking. Sasha doesn't know how to cook and I don't remember cooking. I know full well I wouldn't eat Daryl's cooking without knowing how often he washed his hands and how he cleaned in general. Four plates.

Sasha and I grew up with a house full of men cousins and pretend uncles. It wasn't unusual for someone to try and creep in our bedroom and Bigmama was always close behind to drag them for the filth that they were. We didn't have Bigmama anymore and she trained us good to always fight. Scream if we have to, but die fighting. I was a fighter and Sasha too. We weren't scared to stab someone. We had to a few times. Makes me angry sometimes to think about how the women in my family had to depend on random men to make ends meet even when it meant sacrificing their children's safety to do it.

...

"Leave her be."

Rick stood in the doorway of the 4 room home that he built from the ground up for him and Michonne that was over an acre away from the main house that hid them from view. The home stood dwarf in size compared to his parents home but he would have it no other way. He wasn't looking for any attention. He wanted peace. He had his children who were healthy running about and Michonne, his life mate.

Ezekiel who tended to the chicken coop had told Rick to hurry. Rick didn't question. His children were running about playing near the main house as he strutted closer to their home. He commanded them to go to Mammy Mabel's Cabin that was across the way and stay until their mother came to round them up. They didn't question. They listened with no talk back. His bowleg gait soon moved into a hurried stride where he found Shane pestering Michonne as if she was just any slave woman to be had at whim.

"What?" Shane was startled by the command and the tone from his cousin Rick.

"I said Leave her be." Rick repeated.

"You ain't said nothing about having a fine thing like this out here. I travelled hundreds of miles and I think I would be fine to be warmed up just so with...what they call you? You got a name don't you?" Shane looked to Michonne for a response.

One thing Michonne learnt it was to never give her name. Rick told her to never do it. He said it was for her protection and if she was ever in a position and had to, she was to give the requestor any name but her own. He says if anyone found out about them and knew she was his preference it would show his weakness. She was his weakness. She had to be any random colored and she almost perfected the talk and mannerism as was expected. Speaking the way she did became habit and easy enough. She mostly stayed mute if she could. Very few words. She was far from Paris France which was so very different compared to her life in Georgia. Rick told her any person that had her name he would know there was trouble and would kill them dead. ' _Chonnie"_ was how she was known by everyone on the plantation. Only Rick knew her name as Michonne Benton'. The former _black poodle_ that could, read, write, recite poetry, swim and play the piano.

"Never mind her name. Let her be." Ricks hand began to twitch and his eyes narrowed.

"Never that serious to kill but I sure will fight you for her, cousin Rick."

"It is serious enough for me to kill you. Let her go and let her go now."

"So this is your bed warmer and you don't want to share? I get it. Way out here. Never married. Secluded like. Why in the hell did I eva decide to move to New York when life is real good right here in Georgia?"

Rick's relief wasn't evident to Shane when he had let her go. Michonne saw it. She felt it from Rick.

"Leave now and tell my Mammy I sent you her way. Go on. This is between me and Shane right now." Rick commanded Michonne. His eyes never leaving Shane. He felt the brush of Michonne's body go passed him as she did as told without looking back.

"There was talk...No one could understand why you didn't marry Ms. Lori Davidson. She spent 6 months in town and you never once tried to court her. A fine white woman like herself deserved to be courted. But oh no, Richard Sinclair Grimes the III stayed mostly on the plantation. I say you got most everything you need right here. Children too. How many of them lookin like you in the back of the house. I know damn well they can't be Senior Grimes. Ain't nothing workin on him...not even his mind."

"We goin to have a problem, let me know now, Shane."

"Shit, You using a gun to trying to get me to back off? I ain't trying to have any problems or cause any. You know there are laws in place against the very thing you doing. You just let me get a taste and I say we-"

Pow. Pow. Pow.

...

There was a fierceness in his cold blue eyes. I saw it then and I saw it now that it scared me for a moment. It made my spirit jump. I guess he did remember me Tazing him. He got up when the Taser jammed and got all in my face. All in my personal space. Pointing his finger close to my nose. I bit down hard enough. Hard enough that it stopped him. Stopped the uncontrollable rage. A simmer turning eventually into a slow rolling boil. His index finger in between my teeth. He was breathing heavy after his breath caught. The surprise of it all.

We didn't break eye contact and it was like time suspended. Stopped. It was just Us. The rest of his fingers touched the side of my face when I lessened my bite and his touch caused a whimper to escape from my very core that I hadn't known existed but it was awakened. I was overcome by something that felt very familiar and very intense being there like that with him.

There were moments I am sure that I did not blink and when I did, I found his lips closer to mine or mine closer to his. I released his finger all together when his lips brushed against the corner of my mouth.

I have no idea what the fuck we were doing or why as I pressed the point of the blade in to his side below his ribcage. He had to be taking my soul away from me. He had too. I don't even remember hearing the clank of the knife hitting the floor nor did he care that I pierced his flesh no deeper than a prick from a rose thorn, he bled like a slice to a thumb.

How do I know you? My mind wondered. How is it that I missed this? Need this from you? How is it that I am doing this-with you?

We were running into everything, trying to make way to his bedroom. Our bodies together. What was slow to light up was now a fiery inferno as we wildly escalated into a frenzied state. There was a moment that I realized that I was doing this with him because I have always done this with him.

...

"What in the hell do you want, Father Gabriel?" Daryl leaned against his mustang as he watched the man dressed in black with the white collar hesitantly saunter over and stood before him and Sasha that afternoon. Father Gabriel always stood erect with his hand clasped behind his back.

"I just wanted to invite you to Sunday Service. You and your lady friend. You are new in town?" His voice was almost a whisper as he spoke to Daryl but was more resolute once he found his footing staring in to warm eyes that belong to a warm being. Father Gabriel smiled warmly back at Sasha.

"Yes. Almost 24 hours new. My name is Sasha. I am here with my Cousin, Michonne who's inside with Rick." Sasha noticed a change in Father Gabriel facial expression even though it was slight, "Inside but not together, together." She clarified.

There was a brightness about her or maybe it was an Aura that he could see that was visible to Father Gabriel that shown brighter as he watched her eyes twinkle and her smile dance upon her lips. Her words her tone...pleasant.

"I am Father Gabriel. Where are you from Sasha?" Father Gabriel couldn't help but noticed the slight affect that Sasha had on him even though it was slight.

"Millen County. It's similar to hell I would guess. Once you are there you are stuck."

"But I see you have escaped."

"Not sure if I have if I don't get Michonne to Atlanta."

"Why Atlanta?"

"Why not?"

"Good a place as any, I suppose."

"Heard a lot about it and my Cousin's heart is set on getting there. Similar to Heaven, I suppose. We both ain't never been."

..

"I've helped you with your english."

"But you aren't any better with French." Michonne remarked in jest.

"How old are you now?" Rick asked walking alongside the riverbank with Michonne. They were both alone. The sky was clear and it was mid day 1852 on his sister large estate in the lower part of Louisiana.

"Why?"

"You never told me when you first came to America. You would never answer it in the letters I wrote to you."

"You are peculiar."

"My sister Carol is described as such. My father too. Never had it used on me. Not to my face."

"Peculiar thing it hasn't happened."

"First time I saw you. You had to be about 10? You stayed for two years. Mr. Devereaux and your father took you back to New York then three years later you come again for another two years. Then you leave for three years back to France and now..."

"You still aren't any the wiser about my age."

"I am twenty three." Rick reveals to Michonne.

"You are a man with possibility of a decent fortune. You certainly should be married by now. Opportunities of marriage certainly."

"I have had opportunities."

"What has happened?"

"Like the last time you were here I told you I would wait for you. I want no one but you."

"You are certainly unwell."

"My heart belongs to no other than you, Michonne. From the moment I learnt your name. A name like no other. My Chonne."

"My name is Michonne."

"You will always be My Chonne. If not on paper it will be here." Rick pointed to his chest which caused Michonne to look away from him. The sight of it all was hard for her and to hear it was just as unbearable, especially since she felt exactly the same for him as he for her.

Her breath caught when he took her hand and walked with her like that, hand in hand. It was exactly how he described in one of his letters to her. He had said he would like to hold her hand. He would like to walk and hold hands if she would give him the opportunity he would like to do that.

His hands were rough and warm. Different than the last time she felt them. The time that she had his hand touching her in places that she wanted to repeat but they were still too many steps away from the cabin to do it safely without prying eyes. The thought of those rough fingertips working the sensitive nubs of her nipples excited her and made her almost giddy. The callous palms lightly grazing her shoulders to finally watch the last of the material that concealed her body fall to the cabin floor before greedily reacquainting himself with every inch of her body with the back of his knuckles smoothing over her skin before reaching her rear to pull her close and squeeze.

Carol was a safe harbor for many. Her acres of land gave the appearance of a well oiled machine but it was where the peculiar could find refuge and live freely without the scrutiny of the world on the outside of the gates. She was a woman of means. She had her preference as well and he was disguised as her man servant that worked among the female servants of course. _He_ could certainly read and write and he inspired her to help with runaway slaves whenever possible.

...

"Poodle. Mr. Devereaux refers to Mr. Benton' and his daughter Michonne Benton' as his French poodles. He's a very strange man." Carol sipped her tea in the sitting room eyeing her brother Rick who was standing by the window keeping eye on the gate waiting padding of hooves from a carriage to indicate the arrival of his beloved. It was 1854.

"Poodle?"

"Fancy dog. Very smart. Knows tricks. Stupid man doesn't realize the tricks he taught his _poodles_ can get them killed here in the south. Reading and writing Mr. Benton' can play the violin and his daughter can play the piano. He has a very unusual relationship in general with Mr. Benton'. I know that he does it to distract people from seeing what is really going on."

"How so?"

"He is a man with means and yet he choses Mr. Benton' in more ways than natural. Years it's been that way. They are practically inseparable. I've known Mr. Devereaux for years. If anyone should know, I would know."

"Mr. Benton' has a daughter-Michonne."

"Don't be so naïve, Richard."

"You're speculating." Rick countered Carol's accusations.

"He has a preference for certain arrangements when he is here. You wouldn't have noticed because you are all eyes on Ms. Michonne. Reason why you are here now. Waiting for her arrival like an expectant father waiting on the birth of a son. Surprised you two hadn't created any the last time she was here. You were going about it like rabbits."

"How long have you known this about Mr. Devereaux that you are now making me privy to it?" Rick's face was turning red from embarrassment. He wanted to keep the topic away from him and the intimate details that his sister knew about his lost virginity to Michonne.

When Michonne had to leave, Rick spent all his time either on the Grimes Plantation trying to keep it viable or writing Michonne. There was no deviation. He was eager to see her again.

Carol responded. "He's so very peculiar. The moment he opens his mouth. His mannerisms are such. I always say we need more peculiarity to make the world a better place...I swear today is a hot day."

"I want to bring her back to Georgia with me. I was wondering how you think I could bring the topic up with Mr. Devereaux, my intentions?"

"Her father is Mr. Benton'. You're so closed minded on the concept of a truly free Negro and his offspring, little brother. The thought of asking a black man for permission hadn't even crossed your mind." Carol laughed a hearty laugh, watching her brother's face go stark red from embarrassment and anger.

"I am not leaving until I have Michonne."

"Well, if I am not mistaken I thought you _had Michonne two years ago in the Cabin_ Down by Mason Lake."

"I asked you to put three lines in French. I didn't ask you to read my letter I was trying to write to her, Carol."

"Your secret will always be safe with me Little Brother."

"I have money. I will offer it to Mr. Benton' and if he refuses me then I will just take her. No law will stop me."

"Why in the hell would you want to do that? Take her where?"

"I want her Carol. I'm doing it for the same reason you have here for others but I want it for myself-or one would find in the deepest parts of Louisiana. But Georgia is home. I'll keep her on the plantation. I can keep her there."

"Louisiana is not the same as in Georgia. Michonne is not property Richard and she is neither a dog nor will she readily blend with the others in the field. You certainly can't bring her in the house with Daddy Grimes and Mama Ella. I don't care how sick those two are in health. You just can't. Michonne is free in spirit and in mind even though she moves around with the help of Mr. Devereaux here in the ignorant South, she is free. She was born that way and I don't think you really understand what that means."

"What kind of talk are you going on about..."

"Slavery is a sin."

"I don't treat anyone unfairly."

"They can't move freely and that is unfair."

"There is work that needs to be done."

"Without a choice to the worker it is called slavery. No wage, No-"

"I love her. I love her more than a want or a need. I love her more than my life."

"Whites of the South and the many in the north won't seem to understand why a handsome man of status such as yourself is living your life amongst negroes on the plantation and not married to a fine reputable white woman. To _take_ Michonne-I am not sure she would be unwilling to follow you to Georgia's hell hole if you were to _ask_ her- as you are proposing is basically saying you are to never have a legitimate heir. To actually create the FACADE would be dangerous for Michonne. You know that right? To marry a woman to keep society off your back. To stop the talk. It would be very dangerous for Michonne and any children begotten from your union when you sneak out at night to be with her. I never liked Ms Lori and I am glad you never entertained her. I have seen how our own mother operated throughout the years. I could never go back to Georgia and I can't bring myself to entertain any white man for the sake of appearances. Do you understand my peculiar talk?"

"I know they will talk about me behind my back. Not like I am around to care or will care."

"Makes life easier to live. Reason why I live my life right here in Louisiana. I am left alone to do as my heart desires."

...

A/N:

This is linking the idea of Mr. Nee gain or Mr. Negan in Chapter 12 that was briefly mentioned and fleshing out that story a bit more. Possible repeat reason for Michonne and Rick is due to Human Bondage element (Slavery).

I want to take this story further where Michonne is Queen of a small non existent continent and Rick/Richard a new guard gaining her trust or he lost her trust...hmmmm.

This story will carry elements of or has been carrying element of:

Purgatory/ hallucination/time Travel/Drug induced trip/Reincarnation or just whatever is in Merle's Brew...Whatever the reader wants to come away with is fine with me. I am just happy to have it read if down the road you are truly bored and want to give it a try.

This will eventually come full circle of where they truly are or were or why this experience is happening or being revealed.


	14. Flames

_"I don't want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again."_  
 _― F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise _

* * *

"I have loved to the point of madness; That which is called madness, That which to me, Is the only sensible way to love." Rick rephrased what he had spoken in French into English, having memorized it as such from the book she left behind for him three weeks ago when he last saw her at the University. It was his favorite quote to whisper in her ear when they were alone in her apartment or halfway across town in some motel.

His eyes glued to the calendar indicating it was the summer of 1969 at Harvard University where he had first met his Michonne. Even then he considered her to have been the most exquisite ebony colored beauty he had or thought he would ever lay eyes upon, and he wanted to claim her.

But as her professor, he knew it was against the fraternization rules. This compulsion, this need to take her body up against the desk when the class was emptied out with everyone but her, he had to fight against. He had to fight to keep himself glued, or he would snap into pieces only to find himself rearranged in such a manner he would not recognize himself nor _be_ - _himself_.

He was wary at first of having to use slight of hand or any deception _or_ receiving any preconceived contrivance that he manipulated grades to keep her above all others. It was a known fact from the other course faculty that Michonne was an exceptional student. Many were hesitant to use the word genius and thrust it upon her _kind_ not because she was an African American woman, but because she was a _woman._ He wanted to believe in the latter.

...

"Don't worry, I am not joining the Black Panther group."

"I wouldn't blame you if you did, Michonne."

"My parents would have a heart attack. I couldn't do that to them."

"I thought your apprehension had something to do with me and what my opinion was of the matter?" Rick gave Michonne a quizzical look.

Michonne smile grew as she snuggled her face into his neck. Her professor. Her lover. Her overthinking boyfriend with the accent.

"I have to go away for three long weeks. Are you going to come to my apartment tonight? Our last night together."

"Tonight?" Rick questioned.

"You said you would." Michonne ran her fingers through his hair while he caressed her mid back and arm.

"I failed to remember that this is my wife's birthday today and a party has been planned and-"

Instantly, Michonne went rigid and it instantly alarmed Rick who was relaxed in his office chair without his tweed jacket, Michonne had removed it and he allowed her to undo three buttons of his shirt so he appeared less stuffy and uptight.

Michonne began to lift herself from his lap but he held her firmly in place. She began to fight against his restraint.

"Let me go."

"I can never let you go, Michonne."

"Let me go, Richard." Michonne began to resist.

"I can't."

"I will scream if you don't take your slimy hands from around me."

"I wish you would scream. I wish you would reveal what we are doing, have been doing because I am tired of hiding it. I am tired, Michonne. I want to be with you but I need you to be certain that I am who you want."

"Why would you question my love for you? You are the one with the wife that you say you don't want. I question your love for me, Richard."

"I am thirty eight."

"You were thirty six when we started this."

"Your point?"

"I was helping you to establish one." Michonne's back was to him. He buried his face in her dreads until his nose was pressed against the back of her neck. His arm still firmly wrapped around her waist. She was no longer resisting him.

"I am going to give you just enough wiggle room my lady to pull down your undergarment."

"I didn't lock the door to your office, Richard." Michonne was surprised by his command.

Everyone from other Professors to Students all knew to knock first and wait for his customary, "Enter Please." A locked door was a rare event.

"I wouldn't have suggested if I hadn't secured it myself."

Michonne felt his very serious harden member come to life under her. The last time they had fooled around in his office it was incredible but it was over a month ago. A repeat of that had her heady. He was distracting her and it worked.

In the time that it took Michonne to reach under her mini skirt and pull down her panties Rick had undone his belt buckle ,unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. They were breathing heavy. He had turned her face to give her a kiss squarely on the mouth as Michonne sat, her back still to him and rode him with the same veracity she gave to her zest for knowledge. He fisted and lifted the back of the miniskirt up to get a visual view of her dark beautiful skin as it took him in and released him on a steady repeat. His eyes closed momentarily as they both moaned their pleasures as softly as possible. They weren't sure how thick the walls were in the faculty area but they weren't going to take any chances. Nothing about Michonne was meek or timid. She knew exactly how to tantalize him. He never stepped out of his pants that kept his ankles restrained and Michonne hadn't stepped out fully from her underwear that was tangled around her left ankle. He was consistently mesmerized at how she could bring him to the brink and he still had some sense of sanity.

When they found themselves unusually aroused by this connection shared, Rick confirmed what was in his heart as he began to press Michonne chest against his office desk. Hotly he said in her ear before he plunged deeper, "I love you Michonne. Love you. I want to spend the rest of my days with you. Do you want me like that?"

Michonne breathed out, "Yes. I love you. I will always be with you Richard. I want to be with you like this. I am yours."

"All of this is mine, Michonne?" Rick began to twitch and pulse inside of her.

"Yes."

"I want your body, mind and spirit." Rick gave a long deep thrust that caused Michonne to lose her train of thought.

"I-"

"You have mine, Michonne. You know that you have my body. Only you can break my mind and spirit."

"Fuck me please."

..

The inferiority of a woman _is_ or _was_ so engrained in the males psyche it may just take a century to have it erased completely. _One day when there will be Gender neutrality_ one of the faculty members would like to drone on to the point of ad nauseam.

Rick never understood fully the dynamics of that period of society where the disparity was apparent but ignored. He was after all born and raised in London, England and took the teaching position in America at the affluent college. He did it to get away from his parents who wanted him married to his second cousin, Lori, who he actually married and moved her with him to America. They found a small modest home and that was where they settled in Massachusetts. They had a son named Carl who was 9 years old.

The affair was one of many things that happened that year. Lori was suffering from some type of self induced psychosis that was left untreated. Michonne had a birthday that now made her 22 to his 38. Nothing much changed in the ways or thoughts of those outside the campus who were happy and content with some schooling if any at all. Desegregation caused more segregation in the lunch rooms of every middle school and high school from his vantage point.

There was a growing systemic problem that would not have any acknowledgment if it weren't for a select conscience driven few. He was a white man in love with a colored woman and with the amount of people okay with getting by with just a 9th grade level of education he could see how society was doomed to repeat itself.

He was also a man that would strangle his wife in a fit of rage because she had shot his lover at the Greyhound bus stop that fateful day. It was the day the world sat in wonder around their television while he waited at the bus station for Michonne's return. It was the day on repeat. Rick found that day to contradict the words, _"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."_

A man on the moon, compared to what happened in 1968 with Martin Luther King wasn't what Rick considered progress; it was escapism and deflection, when the world below was inching closer to utter mental and moral decay.

His wife lay lifeless on the sidewalk and he walked poetically in front of a moving school bus that was driven by Mike which was _his_ first day and last day as Alexandria Commons School Bus driver.

...

* * *

Michonne was his first taste of love. His only. Rick found that his body was unable to yield to another. His mind would not permit it, and when he received word that she was in Louisiana with his older Sister Carol, he made haste by stage coach to arrive as quickly as possible even if it was over 4 weeks later. The mere mention that Michonne was on Carol's estate caused a stir within the guest in attendance who were staying in her home for a short period. It was where he had abandon Miss Lori Davidson to pursue his only love, Michonne Benton who had witnessed him talking to the woman that was flaunted before him as a suitable choice and the discussion was made rather public to all in attendance by the man named, Mr. Monroe.

Michonne had performed on the piano that night where Rick danced twice with Lori. It made Michonne sick to her stomach, and she had abruptly made her quick apologies spoken in French when the applause died down after she completed the second recital. Her father, Mr. Benton was on violin and started up a new tune while his daughter quickly left the drawing room for the outdoors. The gasp came not from what Michonne had done but that Rick without thought went right after her.

"No worries Everyone!" Carol said jovially. "My brother paid a fine price to make sure she played tonight. He's going to ensure her safe return to finish out the night." Quickly the crowd became enraptured in the violin player and Carol made her way out to find her brother and Michonne. If it weren't for the sounds they made, Carol would not have known which direction to take.

"You want her?"

"No, I don't want her." Rick responded honestly.

"Then why are you dancing with her?" Michonne questioned.

"Because I can't dance with you. Lori will never compare to you. Even the men in there know that and I can't tell which man at the party I may have to kill if they think they are going to have you for their pleasure. I am not going to sleep tonight when I know what is on the mind of a few of them. You ran out here in the darkness and I had to follow you out to make sure no harm comes to you, My Chonne."

"You are breaking my heart dancing with her." Michonne admitted tearfully.

"I won't dance ever again unless it is with you like we are about to do right now." He promised and offered in one breath.

"You want to dance with me now?"

"I can still hear your father on the Violin. Can't you? May I have this dance, Michonne?"

The distance in which Carol stood, she could see the two dancing a simple Waltz.

"I am going to dance three dances with you and then you will come back inside knowing I danced more with you than I had danced with Lori. You will play the piano and allow me to love you with my eyes. I will just watch and listen to you play tonight. I will keep watch by your bedroom door to make sure no harm comes to you, my love. My Michonne."

Courting another was not ever brought up again, and Rick did not explain his abrupt departure other than he brought the music back which he received a round of applause.

When her father and the flamboyant white Frenchmen that they always traveled with was killed unexpectedly on the road back to Carol's Estate, Michonne found herself without any real direction. Rick was out in town with the two men that were official Guest of Carol when it happened. He had blood on his clothes and only a shared look with Carol that indicated the negotiations for Michonne didn't go to well.

...  
"Dr. Deanna, I don't understand."

"Let me put it to you this way. Slavery was one of the most evil institution that had people open with their superiority complexes and self-delusion of importance while degrading, objectifying and mortally wounding all sense of self for the man of color. Human Bondage. Your mother was in a perpetual state of bondage the moment your father," Dr. Deanna glanced from Andre to Carl, "sold his soul to release her from the very grips that keep them from moving forward."

...

We were completely naked in his bedroom. I didn't know whether Sasha and Daryl came back inside the trailer or not. After awhile I didn't care if they could hear us.

Rick was intent on being in the missionary position. He wouldn't allow me on top, and he took his time in finally sliding inside of me, and I felt my delirium grow to a new level. I had him completely submerged inside me where he didn't move. He just stared down at me and me up at him. Droplets of his sweat hit my face and neck. I didn't care.

There was a wave that we both refused to ride. It was deliciously intense as we both tried to fight the desire to move. We connected in such a way that a memory came back to me. A memory that I had no record of but it played before my eyes as if I recalled a time in which, Rick and I knew each other, have known each other. We were sharing this moment in tandem.

Flicker of flames and then we let loose.

...

The body of his cousin, Shane surfaced, somehow at some point in Georgia. His father had finally died as did his mother from God's medicine, Opium.

Negan from the bank came calling, but we were already gone. Only a few of the slaves followed. The ones that stayed were afraid of freedom. To them, it was like saying there was no master when they have always had one, unfathomable.

Rick wasn't forcing anyone. He left those who wouldn't budge for the bank to take and control. Ezekiel came with us and Rick's Mammy, Mabel. I had to sit with them in the wagon that was driven by the male slave and Rick by his side who never done so at such a long distance.

I couldn't sit with Rick just in case we were stopped in our travels to Louisiana with our small group of enslaved Negroes. He didn't like the fact I was with the few, hidden from sight as he preferred for safety reasons. He gave the men a quick look about, and they knew to keep a safe sitting distance from me even with Mammy by my side to ensure it.

"We almost there, Chonnie."

Rick waited on top of the River bank while Michonne waded in the River to cool herself off and to freshen up from the dust and grime of travel. The horses needed their rest, and they drank from the same river while Mammy made a quick outdoor meal while everyone sat close to the wagons wary of any sound or movement.

"You promised a tub!"

"We will take the cabin by the River. I don't see no need for a tub if we do that." Rick teased.

"You goin back on your promise to me?"

"The Cabin at Carol's is too small, and I will be busying with making it larger and adding rooms for our children. There won't be any comfort for awhile until I get it just right."

"Richard Sinclaire Grimes-"

Rick chuckled. He knew she was going to go into fluent French fussing which was easy to endure than when she would do it in English. English he knew what she was saying but spoken in French she was his fancy, exotic, one of a kind life mate, his wife. Rick waited for the pause as he watched her animated hands splash the water as she began to emerge. He had a towel awaiting her, and he was standing guard that no one from his entourage would foolishly come to the River until he and Michonne were finished. He left a gun with Ezekiel to shoot off if there was any sign of trouble.

"You will have your tub, Chonnie. I will make room for it if you promise to let me watch you soak from time to time."

"Why do you like to upset me?"

"Just some fun with you."

"I trust words you tell me."

"Did you just drown fun in the river with you? If so get back in the water and get it before it dies."

"At a time like this, you want humor? We have people terrified of this idea to go to Louisiana. They are likely to run back in the direction in whence we came for what is familiar is a comfort but instead we, _you_ have people that have chosen to follow you and do you know why?" Michonne didn't wait for her husband, life mate to respond as she stood before him in her dripping wet Chemise or Shift as it was known in America, "Because they trust the words you speak. You are a man of your words. You haven't harmed them, and they don't distrust you."

Rick looked about as he held the towel to wrap around her body, more for modesty than anything else, "I have two concerns right now, Chonne. My number one concern is you, my family. My second concern is you speaking to me in a manner that I need to take you over my knee and spank you a few good times until you understand to speak broken English at all times unless we are under the roof of our home then you can speak to me any way you see fit."

They stood there with their eyes locked on each other. Rick was close enough for Michonne to feel his breath on her cooled skin. "You want to do this here?" Michonne questioned what his inclinations were when he was ever this close to her. He had proven to her many times over that he loved no one but her and he was showing it again by leaning down and kissing her on her forehead and then gently on the lips.

"We have people as you say that may need to get down to this here River and cool themselves. If I do what you know what I want to do right now, they would never get a chance for a great while longer, Chonnie."

"Hand me my dry clothes."

...

We had already found refuge with Carol. We were living amongst who Rick sister Carol would call her family with peculiar propensities. Rick had refused to live inside the large home with his sister if that meant I had to stay in the back room and stealthily come to him in the night if there were visitors. He didn't want to live that way nor did he want our children to live like that, their mother was his wife, not his bed wench.

His arrangement would have been that He and I would share a bed and our kids would remain close by, not in the other part of the house.

The thought of Michonne having to creep to him or him to her unsettled him since Carol would on many occasion entertain an occasional outsider who would stay over night and would surely put two and two together. Michonne was off limits. She belongs to him.

He still preferred placing us away from the main house. We took to living in the Cabin where we first made love and where we would go to be together before we had the children.

The home was much smaller than the one in Georgia, and Rick promised to extend it. He was going to make it larger from a two-room to four or five room home. He would have to enlist the help of the others, and he wasn't sure what the incentive would be other than obtaining a skill he was willing to teach if he had too.

We had plans to start anew. We had the children on pallets while we took to the only Cot that was there, had always been there.

We made love that night, quietly while the children slept. We were on our sides. His breathing was heavy and warm on the back of my neck. I lifted my leg so he could enter me from behind. His bare chest was prest to my back. My breathing matched his as we began to make the bed creak and he tried with all his might to slow down to not wake the children who slept peacefully, unaware. Our lower half covered by the blanket that he pulled down to our waist, his hand playing between my legs. It was hot that night, but we didn't stop.  
...

Beads of sweat fell from my brow onto her forehead. It was hot in that bedroom that I called my own in Daryl's Trailer home.

I felt incredibly aroused by how responsive she was to me. I moved deeper inside her becoming merciless, fed by some primal need to consume her. I was hard, and I wanted to fill Michonne up until she reached her peak without reaching mine but I descended twice down the mountain to find myself still rigid, hard, increasingly turned on and climbing steadily back to the top ready to go yet again without stopping my thrusts. I was a rutting animal.

Her body was that of a beautiful black goddess, her skin velvety smooth all over. She was slick, and I prayed she didn't want me to stop. I needed this between her thighs. I was going to rupture a blood vessel from this orgasmic frenzy I found myself in, still on top of her, still in the missionary position, stuck in a perpetual haze of euphoria. I craved her mouth. I covered it with my own. Tasting her and relishing in the heat that engulfed me, inflamed me

It was hot, but we didn't stop.

Oh, Fuck!. I'm going to cum. I'm fucking going to come again. I am going to-" I was drowning, and I didn't want to be alone, "Come with me. Tell me you will come with me-Please?"

My thrust never stopped. I plunged faster and grabbed Michonne nicely round black ass to lift her to move at an angle so I could reshoot my seed into her. This sensation was what I remembered.

Burned alive. No escape.

...

Rick had just ejaculated on her dress with just dry humping, unable to wait for her garments removal. His eyes rolled back it was the right amount of friction and a slight rip of her bodice he was able to take into his mouth her dark nipple. He couldn't help ejaculating with his trouser undone and her straddling him as he sat on the cot inside of the Cabin. This level of intimacy was the first time and their first attempt.

"I have never been to a whore house. I have never been to a brothel." Rick had informed Michonne. "I had the opportunity to go, but the smell repulsed me, Michonne. Women that have been with other men and the heavy perfume they wore. I began to wonder if I were peculiar, and then I met you, and you have been all that I have ever desired. I have waited for you. I have waited for this, us."

"You wouldn't have hurt my feelings if you have. They have bath houses in France. I've heard the whispers about who goes in there. Practice to become a good lover or until you find a wife is not a bad thing. I have come across some books about it. You are the first and only person I have told that I have read such a thing."

"I too saw a book or two, but I think it is very different when actually with someone. The books don't mention anything about nerves. I don't have any training in the area, and if I am doing things wrong, it's because of that."

"I've never done anything with anyone but you, Rick. I am a little scared."

"I don't want you scared, Michonne. We don't have to continue since I-" Rick found it hard to finish his sentence or to look at Michonne. He had already soiled her dress and his pants..

"You've changed your mind?" Michonne was surprised by the change in his desire to proceed with what she dreamt about for months upon months.

"No. I haven't changed my mind. I want to. I want to continue." Rick felt his arousal grow with the possibility of finally consummating his relationship with Michonne.

"Well, you need to be more careful with my clothing."

"I don't know if I can be gentle, Michonne. I've dreamt of this. I've waited a long time for this. You may have to remove everything yourself. I will watch to see how it is done."

"I will undress, and you undress," Michonne suggested.

Rick began to make haste in the removal of his cravat along with his vest and dress shirt. He paused when fully removing his trouser that was already unbuttoned. Just the sight of her nude body had Rick completely erect again within seconds. His heart raced, and his breathing began to stagger long and labored. He fought becoming erratic. He was nervous again. She was breathtaking, exquisite, and her scent was driving him wild that he quickly got to his feet and swooped her up in his arms and placed her onto the cot to gaze down at her beautiful form.

He lowered himself on the small bed and began to kiss her slowly and then deeply. He kissed her everywhere all the way down to her feet. Parting her legs, he fed himself readily. Her juices were slightly sweet. But he knew very little of what technique and went with how her body responded to the use of his fingers and hands gripping her hips as he buried his face further to drain her of every drop that she expelled for him as he listened on to her pleas for him to never stop.

Words of love spoken in French and English in between gasps.

He predicted that he wasn't going to be gentle but he was and he continued that way.

"Vous et nul autre," Michonne whispered. "You and no other."

He made love to her slowly, sweetly and endlessly.

...

The bounty for my brother was valid. Richard Sinclair Grimes was a wanted man in Georgia and Louisiana for the death of our cousin Shane Walsh and Mr. Devereaux. Michonne's father was disposable, considered perishable property, similar to a sack of potatoes. Things did not go as plan for little brother Rick when he had asked for Michonne. He wanted Michonne to be his, leaving out the part that he was hers. It probably would have made it more palatable to the two men with whom he was in negotiations with regarding his beloved. Rick was denied, and so he took her without regard to the father's pleas that his daughter was not property and could never and would never be free to walk and enjoy much less love openly in the South, no better in the North from his experience.

Mr. Benton' didn't want that for his only daughter that was produced by a forced union at a time he barely remembered, but the birth was his reminder.

Carol was steadfast she got everyone that lived under her protection armed and ready to defend. Right or wrong she was going to die trying that night the walls were breached, and the sound of hounds howled. Her eyes were made to pierce the darkness that blanketed the woods. Quietly she crept with the help of the moonlight that shone eerily bright that warm and humid night.

The Hounds were the first to fall to the ground with a loud yelp. Carol shot the first two and her lover aimed for the other three. The butt of the gun missed her as it swung. A bullet in the head caused a man to fall to the ground at the time she held the hot barrelled tip to Negan's temple.

"Now why you go and do that?" Negan inquired. He was not shaken by the position he was in. He still had the air of having the upper hand even with the nozzle of the gun pressed to his head.

Carol didn't have any answers she pulled the trigger at the time the walls of the cabin was pulled from the frame and out walked her brother with his children and Michonne carrying the youngest child.

Carol was too late, spirits walking out of the flames meant she was dead too, shot gun blown from her hands. Negan was on all sides of her. How?

"You save them from the fire will only have your brother Richard Sinclaire Grimes hanging from the nearest tree. I will have him by his neck for Michonne to find him. Don't you think it better they burn?"

"Our father who aren't in heaven-" Carol began the lord's prayer falling to her knees. Prayer hands and eyes closed.

"Don't go with that. I asked you a question, Carol. Am I sure you can see things the way I do? Right? A fire. Do you want me to finish the story of what a Michonne would do if she found her precious Rick hanging? Negan not waiting for a response continued, "Well, Michonne is a smart one she knows that the bank could make good with all the breeding she and Rick had gone and done. We would make money with those half breed bastards. High price for them with that fair complexion and the young girls. I would say, those would make me quite a bit of money. They would come handy in the night when you have an uptight wife."

"Michonne would kill her children first before she allowed it. She would." Carol agreed with the outcome.

"I am considered the Melodramatic. You are correct my Dear Lorac. Very correct."

"My brother will never kneel to you."

"Oh but he has, but he still calls for Michonne, why? Tell me!"

...

"Why are they still on the roof? Get them down. Get them down. Right now damn it. The storm is coming." Mabel had her hands on her hips as she waited for Tyrese to come with the ladder.

Eugene climbed the ladder reaching and nudging Rick's foot. He didn't stir. Eugene nudged harder, Michonne snuggled closer into Ricks body.

"I am the Queen of the land of Sand and Wind. Why are you here?"

"To worship you," Rick whispered eyes closed.

...

A/N:

Answers to all the burning questions.

 **Where in the heck is Michonne and Rick?**

Rick and Michonne are actually on the Roof of the Mortuary experiencing these things and I hope as the reader you are experiencing it as they are presenting it. The sex helps them connect to and experience their past lives in tandem. They are on the roof but they are connected in Daryl trailer where they have joined in slavery and splinter off-Rick the Professor and Michonne direction is when she was Queen.

 **What is this story about?**

Mental Illness or supernatural time traveling time jump, but the end will reveal hopefully succinctly.

 **What were you thinking to write this? Are you insane?**

This is from very little sleep. I will come back to it in the morning if it is truly chaotic. I was thinking and I gave up thought and just began to type which may be a sign of insanity.

 **I am having a hard time following your stories.**

I would suggest you start with Two Islands or Pencil Skirt. If you can't get through that then put me on Author Ignore list. ( If you endeavor to continue You will notice a slight grammar improvement with time)

PS:

The quote: J'ai aimé jusqu'à atteindre la folie. Ce que certains appellent la folie, mais ce qui pour moi, est la seule façon d'aimer.

I have loved to the point of madness; That which is called madness, That which to me, Is the only sensible way to love  
Francois Sagan in the 1960's.

Rick would have never heard such a thing in the period I have him and Michonne which is somewhere in the 1800's (Slavery/Plantation, Georgia, Louisiana and New York) He would not have heard this or known this but I wanted to incorporate it by introducing the beginning story line Professor/Student relationship in 1969. Also towards the end is introducing another time jump of when Michonne was Queen.

...


End file.
